Not to repeat the Same Mistakes

August 2011 is coming to an end and I am happy to find myself in a much better condition. Today, my wife saw me in webcam and was very happy to see that my face looked fresh and healthy. I was happy too. In fact, I have forgotten when it was the last time that I looked this way fresh and healthy. May be 9 or 10 years ago or even more. In the last few days, my health has experienced good recovery. In the last 10 days, I could sleep a lot and this helped a lot too. For 10 years, I did not sleep enough and sleep starvation accumulated and contributed in destroying my health and mind.

I had 3-4 problems that combined together and broke my health down 2 years ago. First of all, I became addicted to tea, coffee and Coke. I also got addicted to all the junk food items. Secondly, I did not sleep more than 6 hours most of the time. Well, there were some problems that I had to face as far as sleeping was concerned. I totally gave up on doing any form of exercise because too much coffee, less amount of sleeping and junk food items put a lot of stress in my body and mind. Secondly, the pressure of blogging, family troubles and running a small company all by me were too much to handle. My wife was very supportive and dedicated but it was too much for her too. First, she became very sick and then it was my turn.

I stopped blogging 5 months ago, I changed home, I started doing exercise and eating better food. Now, I am trying to sleep more. My wife is as supportive as ever. So, I have recovered a lot in the last one month. Now, it is time that I will gradually go back to normal work. It is time that I will gradually go back to normal life again.

Yes, I am very happy for it but then I have to remember that I must not make the same mistakes again. The last two years have taught me some valuable things and made me wiser and matured. I have achieved some small victories that are perhaps insignificant to most people as they are not in my condition. Most of them perhaps eat healthy food anyway, do exercise regularly and do not have to suffer so much stress. However, I am happy for such a turn around. I am very happy for the change in eating habit in late thirties. I am also happy to do exercise almost every day for 30-45 minutes. I am happy to see the improvement in my heart condition. It reached to its worst condition last August and I had to go to a doctor start taking statins.

I am happy for all the small things that I have achieved in the last two years. However, I am happiest for the change in me as a husband. I am happy to be a much better husband that I was 2 years ago. You see I have read many romantic novels and watched many romantic movies. I always dreamt to be a good husband but when you are under too much pressure then becoming even a normal husband becomes impossible. So, I am happy that I don’t need any excuse to cover up my badness in my marriage. This is such a good feeling that I cannot describe it in words. I hope that someday, I can express this happy feeling in writing- be it in a novel, short stories or a drama.

So, I must not make the mistakes of the past anymore. I am a happy man now and repeating the mistakes of the past would only take away this happiness. I will try to take care of my health from now and must not try too much for my work.

I noticed that the number of followers for this blog has reached to 72. I am surely happy for it and I like to thank everyone again for this support. Well, I wish that some of you could put comments regularly so that I could feel strongly motivated to write more regularly in this blog. Then, I cannot blame any of you as I do not write comment in your blogs either. 

Just One Year Ago This Day

I have to say that my health has improved significantly but at times, I get frustrated as I am not fully recovered yet. It is frustrating and today, I felt really frustrated. Then, I tried to remember my condition last year. Except the matter that I had much more money on this day last year, everything has improved in one year. Since I could not work much in the last one year, naturally, I do not have more money.

Last year this time, I could not sleep at all as my heart was beating rapidly. I went to doctor and found that my cholesterol level was too high. In fact, I felt much poison in my body and mind. Today, I do not feel any poison in my body and mind. This is indeed a huge improvement.

Actually, my health is improving but very slowly. So, sometimes, I feel impatient. This is really a very long battle and I have realized that I must take care of my health from now. I must not put any pressure on my health for my work anymore. 

The Next 5 Months

Today is 1 August 2011 and I am very happy to state that my health has really improved. Today and yesterday, I could cycle for 70 minutes on a stationary bike. Thus, in 2 days, I could exercise for 140 minutes. This is a huge improvement for me as I always struggled about doing exercise for the last 5 years. I really feel very healthy today. Well, I still have nearly 20 KG of weight to decrease and it is not going to be that easy. However, since I can do exercise every day now, I am optimistic about it.

 In 2008, 2009 and 2010, I tried to decrease weight seriously but each time, I cut back on food a lot and although I could decrease 8 KG, 11 KG and 10 KG respectively, on each occasion, my weight again increased after I went back to normal eating. This time, I am hopeful because I am combining the two things- diet and exercise. This is the right combination.

Still, I have not been able to come back to full time work. However, I do not regret for that because, I know very well that if I try to work full time then within a month or two, I will again become seriously ill. Instead, I want to try totally for my health in the next 5 months. I hope to get back to full time work from 1 January 2011.