Sooner or Later You will Get what you Want

I am happy to say that life is starting to turn around for me after 5 years of suffering. My health is almost normal, my stress is almost gone and I am almost coming back to fulltime professional work. There is the feeling that the best time in life is just starting. Just a few months ago, the feeling was quite the opposite- there was hardly any hope for the future.

For the last 5 years, I have seen a lot of suffering and destruction. Now that I have almost left this behind, in a way, I am not unhappy for the suffering and destruction. To be honest, I have learnt a lot of things. I have become patient and wise. This experience has given me hope for the future. Now, I feel stronger, wiser and happier.

The most important lesson to learn from the suffering of 64 months is that no matter what I must not give up hope. Trying hard and being patient are very important skills in life. If you can simply keep on trying then sooner or later you will get what you want. 

Life is full of challenges: Be Brave

 I am almost getting back my health and energy. I am not sick anymore. This is a great feeling and at last, I am really happy and excited for the future. I have dreamt of this time for the last 5 years. Here it is at last. My health is normal and stress has decreased significantly. I can work some and I am hoping to come back to full time work within the next 4 months.

I simply cannot remember the last time, I felt good for a week or for a month. At last, I feel some normal and I am hopeful that life will become better in every side. However, there is always new challenge in every step of life.

Life is not a fairytale story for most people. There are difficulties and challenges. It is important how you can deal with your problems. You cannot expect that life will be good all the time. Then it will become monotonous and you will suffer from boredom. So, always be prepared for challenges in life and face them like a brave person. You have to be brave if you want to get out of the best from your life. 

Never Give Up: Try Before Quitting

From yesterday, I have noticed that I can write blog posts naturally. For 3-5 years, it was very difficult for me to concentrate on blogging or writing naturally because of very bad health, bad stress and tension. Even last, week, I could not realize that I would be able to get so much better within a week. For the last months, I tried to rest as much as possible. This has been perhaps the main reason for my improvement in health. When you are out of work for a long time then it becomes very tough to come back to real work.

I have learnt a very important lesson. Most of the time, I was frustrated and I saw hardly any hope for the future. However, I never gave up and kept on trying. I never quitted. This is the main reason that I am standing tall again in life. Of course, I still have to go a long way but I feel much better and normal now.

Life is full of ups and downs. At times, life is boring too. However, life can be beautiful if you try to keep on fighting. 

Health is Wealth: Life is larger than Sorrow and Depression

I have not posted any entry in this blog since October 7, 2012. 2013 has been more or less a very difficult year for me so far. However, my health has improved a lot. I suffered many obstacles and problems related to others. I had to fight a lot for some of my close people. In fact, now my main problem is not health anymore but some personal problems and obstacles. Even most of the problems are not mine. However, since some of my disciples are facing obstacles in life, I am trying my best to help them.

Well, I hope that things will become much better for all of us and I can get back to full time work within a short time. It is this hope that has kept me alive and kept me going for the last 5 years. At times, it has been very frustrating and I felt that there was no hope for the future. At the on hand, my health only became from bad to worse and then I could not deal with the everyday real life challenges.

Things are becoming better and now, my main challenge is to gradually get back to real life work. It is a challenge because I have lost the habit of writing or working every day. I know that it will not be easy to get back that habit. In the last 5 years, I tried a lot to get this habit of working everyday but I failed and that is why, I have lost any hope of getting it back. However, my health has improved a lot personal problems have decreased significantly too. So, there is now real possibility of getting back to work.

When I look back to the last 5 years now, I feel happy and satisfied. Yes, things have been very tough indeed but the experience I have gathered is valuable too. I realize very well that failure is not bad, suffering is not bad. If you learn your lessons then you can become stronger and happier. You will become more successful in life. I am grateful to God that I could continue fighting during very harsh conditions. I have learnt a very important lesson that heath is indeed wealth. I must never neglect my health. I also must remain hopeful in difficult times. Life has ups and downs.

I also have realized that it is important to look after my mind too. IN tough times, a movie can make change your mood. I watched some underdog movies in the last one year. This week, I watched the movie Glory Road. This movie has inspired a lot and has given me real hope. I have remained most of my life a real underdog and perhaps time has come for me to accomplice something.

The future looks to be bright for me from now on. May be, I will have unprecedented success in life within in the next few years.

Real Love and Real Happiness is Perhaps More Abstract

The last few days have been very tough both emotionally physically. On 31 December 2010 night, my wife suddenly became sick and I was awake with her whole night. In the last 5-6 nights, I did not have enough sleep. So, naturally, I am physically exhausted. Emotionally, it is even more painful because she has to go to her parents’ home another country just within a day or two. She just came back 3 months ago after a long absence of 15 months.

It was heart breaking for me to see her cry tonight as she was extremely depressed that she was forced to leave me again for another long spell. I took her clinic, two doctors and two diagnostic centers in the last two months and each time the result was good. I mean that the doctors could not find any problem with her. Most probably, she is from another country (we met each other in Internet) and her health is some weak to tolerate the environment of my country.

I really cannot think of any other moment of my life that is sadder than this evening. It gave me a lot of pain and my heart is very heavy at this moment. I just gave this consolation that at least; I have such a good wife who is crying from missing me. In real life, most of the couples I have seen around me are nowhere near us. Many couples just quarrel from nonsense and very silly things. It is not that we did not have problems in our marriage. However, most of the time, we could solve them because we never stopped loving each other deeply. We could never imagine finishing the marriage even. God is really kind with both of us in this regard.

I fell in love with my wife 8 and half years ago and for the first 3 and half years, we used to chat with each other in Internet. Then I could come to her country and for 5 years, we are together in real life.  

Earlier tonight, I tried my best to control myself that I do not cry. Still, I am deeply crying inside my heart but as I said, I am happy too that God gave me this kind couple life in which, we could really touch and feel abstract love. At last, we have both realized that our love is not dependent on looks, charm, physical pleasure, diamond necklace or ring, beautiful dresses or any other thing. Our love is dependent on love alone.

With all the pain, I at last touched that we two have become like Jim and Della of The Gift of the Magi. Tonight, I again touched the word of Buddha that happiness does not come from comfort and luxury but happiness comes from fighting and conquering over sorrow. Yes, we have a lot of pain and sorrow in our couple life but we are trying our best to leave them aside and just love and support each other.

I am hopeful that her health will become better in the next one or two years. Even if it takes another 10 years, it is no problem at all. I am hopeful only because my health has improved significantly recently after a long spell of suffering. We both had to try too much for this marriage as we hardly got any support from anyone.

Happiness and Sorrow: Life has Both

When I look around then I often feel that I am much happier than most people around me. It was a very shaking experience for me last night as I experienced the strongest earthquake in my life. Well, it was I think a 4.6 magnitude earthquake but since, it originated just 75 kilometers from my home, I really became scared. Although I am not a very religious man, I remembered God at that time.

After the earthquake, I realized that in life, we often destroy our peace on small and trivial things. Obviously, I have this disease and I know that most people I have seen in my life have the problem. Thus, we do not need an earthquake to destroy our peace. We have already destroyed our mental peace with small matters.

I do not want to criticize anyone here. I am stating my idea and the experience with this earthquake have helped me to change my attitude. From now, I will try not to bother about little things in life. Of course, it is impossible to change this habit but I will try my best about it.

I am not in any way suggesting that you should not be sad when a sad thing happens. Of course, we cannot control ourselves. What I am suggesting is that try to make a list of the small things that make you sad too much and try to come out of them.

Until the age of 20, I was a big fan of sports and especially football (soccer). When my favorite team failed, it gave a lot of pain to me. I know that there is no shortage of people who have this kind of feeling about sports. Well, at the age of 20, I realized that it was useless to stop eating or talking for a game. After all, it is just a game and it will come back every season every year.

Thanks everyone for reading and following this blog. Today, I noticed that this blog has 33 followers now. This gave me a lot of happiness and from now, I will try to be regular in updating it. 

Life and Death

Yesterday, someone close to me died. I went to his home and paid my last tribute to the dead body. Naturally, I had a very heavy heart. Now, I am thinking about the poem, Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard written by Thomas Gray. Of all the poems that I have read in my life, it is the best when it comes to talking about death. The message is perhaps very simple and clear but Gray could touch the heart of millions of readers with the simple but very powerful message.

Death closes all- this is perhaps true. If I die tomorrow then everything is closed for me forever. On the other hand, it is important to make good use of life and lead an honest life.