Razib's World

Happy New Year 2012 and Eat Well

2012-01-19T05:20:00.002+06:00

I just noticed that I have not posted anything in this blog for the last one month. So, I wish a very late happy new year 2012 to all the readers of this blog. There are now 84 followers of this blog and I really wish to write some comments in some of these blogs but then, I am really trying my best to get my health back.

From 1 January 2012, I have seriously started an effort to change my eating habit. In the past, I have seriously tried to decrease my weight 4-5 times and each time failed. You see decreasing weight is not that difficult and each time, I could lose nearly 10 KG in just two months but then I got back the 10 Kilogram or 22 pound very quickly too.

What went wrong? Why I failed each time in the same way? Now, I know the answer. First of all, I tried to decrease weight very quickly and went for extreme calorie reduction. Water fasting became my favorite tool. I did not take exercise seriously. Because I hardly ate, doing exercise was impossible too. This time, I am doing two things different. First of all, I am not obsessed with decreasing weight rapidly. I am eating every day and not thinking of any kind of water fasting- at least not for the next 2 months.

I am taking one or two meals a day instead of 3. So, I have cut back on my calories but not that much. In the past, during my diet days, I almost or even totally stopped eating meat. This time, I have 100% stopped eating beef and mutton (goat meat) but I am eating chicken twice a week. As a result, I don’t feel weak like past. I normally eat a heavy lunch of nearly or some more than 1000 calories and 5 days a week, I eat vegetarian foods (with the exception of eggs). Then, at night, if I don’t feel hungry, I don’t eat the second meal. However, if I do fell hungry then I eat the second meal and the second meal is always raw food like banana or peanuts (without oil or salt).

On the two days that I eat meat, I take care not to eat more than 2000 calories. So, I am slowly but consistently losing weight without being that much hungry. The only sugar I eat these days is in my tea. I have almost stopped eating shrimp as I have high cholesterol problem.

I have stopped doing any work or looking for work at this moment. Any work brings stress and I really need no stress for the time being. This is a very wise decision because without it, I would not be able to totally focus on my health at last. If you are really trying to decrease your weight then try to take a break from your professional life for a few months.

Most probably, this time, I will become successful in decreasing weight to the desired level. I wish to decrease nearly 14 KG more in the next 15-20 weeks. However, I need to think of the time after I really reach to the desired level of weight. Until now, my weight came back very rapidly after reaching to the desired level. It happened on each occasion in the past. So, I need to find a good strategy this time. Well, you see when you consume more calories than you should, your weight will slowly increase and when you consume fewer calories than you should then your weight will slowly continue to decrease. This is really as simple as that.

So, I need to continue eating healthy food items as well do regular exercise to prevent the lost weight coming back. Of course, I cannot continue to be without any work for a long time but I am not that much worried for it because when my health improves then I can work hard and compensate for the lost days. After all, the hardest part is now not doing any work. I am fond of working more than most people.

How to be Happy in Life?

2011-11-19T09:09:00.002+06:00

No, I am not giving you some tips about becoming happy in life. I am just going to explore this question and hopefully give my own opinion. We all seek happiness and often we get confused between happiness and comfort. I feel that it is different from comfort, luxury, success and achievement. To me happiness means a state of condition where sadness can attack you less. If you are happy then you are cheerful even in most depressing and desperate condition. On the other hand, if you are not happy then you don’t find peace although you are successful and rich.

I am a big fan of the concept of Four Noble Truths of Buddha but real life is more complicated than what Buddha said. Just think of this sentence: Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases. Is it so easy to overcome desire? In fact, it is impossible to overcome desire or ceasing of attachment to desire. So, this advice sounds impractical for real life but may be, you should not discard it totally without giving a serious thought.

May be, we should try to be selective about which desires to pursue. We should try to pursue the desires that bring most happiness to us. Well, a new problem would arise because how do you know that the things you like a lot are good and would bring real happiness for you. For example, if you are fond of drinking wine (alcohol) then you know that drinking too much wine may lead to addiction and can cause serious damage to your health. So, if you want to be happy then you need to have some wisdom. Without wisdom, even if you can get happiness for the time being, it will not sustain on the long run.

If possible make a list of the changes that you want to make. Suppose, you have a bad temper and you get into trouble with others for that. First, try to accept your problem without giving any excuse and then you must want to change from your heart. As long as you give excuse to yourself, you will never be able to overcome it. It is really a very tough thing to accept our own mistakes. I can easily point out 10 mistakes of another person but it becomes very difficult for me to accept my own mistakes.

Until we can learn to accept that we make mistakes and we can pinpoint our own faults, it really becomes impossible to find true happiness. When you can find your own faults and can accept that they are really not good then you move a long way in your quest for real happiness. You see actors and actresses try to portray good qualities and good values in movies but in their own life, often they are very unhappy. So, they run into all kind of problems and often they end up being very unhappy. As long as you learn to accept your own faults and mistakes, you are just pretending like an actor.

So, you have to learn to embrace the reality and the truth. If you can accept your mistakes then you can try to overcome them and change yourself. Why not make a list of the 10 problems that you have with yourself? After making this list, just think about them and try to want them from your heart that you want to get free from them. You must want very strongly to get free from the mistakes or faults that you have.

Of course, you need to be patient if you want to get free from your faults or mistakes. It does not happen overnight. You will experience many defeats and as a result, you will feel frustrated. Failure is indeed the pillar of success. Secondly, when you try to change, you may find that people around you are not that eager to support. Even some of you may laugh at you and think that you are crazy. Don’t bother about them because it is your life and you must decide if you want to be happy or not.

If you are trying to quit smoking and all your close friends are fond of cigarettes then it is natural that you will get no support from them. Often, people think that honesty is stupidity, kindness is weakness and by being good you become a loser. No problem, let them think what they wish to. If you look around then you will notice that most people are not happy. They are not satisfied with their life. It is mainly because we live in a world where goodness is not valued and it was never valued in the past either.

When you can overcome your problems, mistakes, faults or sins even if not all of them but most of them- you will start to feel happy from your heart. Just being alive will bring you a lot of satisfaction.

If you have come to read this entry with the hope of finding some tips for becoming happy then I am sorry about that. Really, some tips cannot bring happiness for you unless you really want to change from your heart. If you are looking for some tips then read the following two articles:

20 Simple Ways to Get Happy

How to be happy in life: let out your anger

Why not to overcome the Writer’s Block!

2011-11-18T03:02:00.000+06:00

Each and every writer on every corner of earth suffers from the writer’s block at one or another point of life. You will literally find hundreds of articles on this topic and many articles surely contain valuable tips on how to overcome this problem. In this blog post, I am going to try to convince you not to try to overcome the writer’s block. Don’t get shocked or alarmed before reading the post. Believe me, it is not my goal to prolong your writer’s block but I am going to discuss this topic in a different point of view.

I am mostly concerned with the matter that often we face serious problems in life and as a result, we cannot work properly. Some of us may mix up these problems with writer’s block. Let me give you an example from my own life. If you read this blog regularly then you know very well that I have been suffering from ill health for the last two years and I hardly could do any work. Sometimes, when my condition was not bad, I still could not write. When there was too much stress in life, I could not write either. You see for writing, you need some sort of mental peace and calm.

When we face too many difficulties in life at the same time, it becomes almost impossible for many of us to write. Perhaps, depression is another major obstacle and almost all of us have experienced depression in our lifetime. At first, I wrongly thought that I was suffering from writer’s block and tried very hard to come back to writing. This only made the situation worse for me because in addition to my other serious problems, assuming that I was suffering from writer’s block became even a bigger headache.

As a result, I became more ill and I felt more frustrated. That is why, although, I have recovered almost 100% now, I am not putting up any serious effort to start fulltime writing or blogging. I have offers of at least 3 projects now and one of them is really very attractive. Still, I have decided to take some more time and let the so called writer’s block continue. I want to come back when I feel I am 100% ready to write and I can work without putting any stress on my health or mind.

Enough of my problem. If you are really suffering from writer’s block then the first question you should ask yourself is: Is it really and only the writer’s block? Do I have any other serious problem at this moment?

Unless, you are struggling to pay your bills and you are in desperate need to earn some money, never force yourself to come back to writing when you are suffering from sickness or may be suffering in your love life. This may only make the situation more complicated and your returning to fulltime or part time writing may only get delayed.

With this post, I am going to stop talking about my health and from now, I am going to write about the things I want to write. Still, it somehow got related to my long illness. Sorry for that.

The Real New Beginning

2011-11-13T04:42:00.000+06:00

I know that I have suffered a series of false starts in the last two years. So, I am afraid to state that I am not sick anymore and it is a new beginning. Then, there is nothing wrong in dreaming. Yes, I need all the motivation and encouragement from myself to start again in life. There is my wife whom I miss a lot but she is supporting me 100% online.

Now, the only thing I wish to do is to get back full time work and the only skill I have is writing. There is no doubt that I enjoy writing more than anything else. At least, I can try to update this blog more frequently. I hope that I can do it from now. I really wish to write more in this blog but it never happened for the last 6 years. Yes, this blog is going to be 6 years old in coming February.

Most of the time, I just wrote here for increasing some entries for the network. For the last one year, I wrote mainly about my ill health. Most probably, after this post, I am not going to write much about my health. Instead, I just want to write about anything I like- I really miss it a lot.

The wisest thing that I have done is not to try to come back to work in the last few months. In 2009 and 2010, this was the mistake I made- I tried to use my will power to come back to work. It was a stupid mistake but I am happy that I have learnt from my mistake. This time, I waited as long as needed and I am ready to wait another 2-3 months before getting back to full time work.

The last Chapter

2011-11-01T11:38:00.002+06:00

Yesterday, I could exercise for nearly 100 minutes. No, I could not do it at a stretch but I could not imagine of doing exercise for 100 minutes in a single day. Today, naturally, I am tired but I feel good inside. I have almost forgotten when it was the last time I felt this level good. So, you can be sure that I am enjoying every moment of life now.

I have lost almost everything in life. However, there is still one thing left- my marriage. I am grateful to God for this marriage because my wife is really very supportive. Because of her constant support, I have survived very tough conditions in the last one decade. I met her 9 and half years ago in Internet. These days, getting married through Internet has become common but 10 years ago, few people could imagine it especially if they were from two different countries.

These days, I am listening to the songs of the movie A Walk To Remember and here is one:

It is like the final chapter in my sickness saga. I am near to get back to normal life. I know that it will take another on year but I am not sick like past anymore. The worst is really over and from now on, things will hopefully get better and better.

Visible or Invisible: It is the Same Illness

2011-10-16T20:15:00.000+06:00

Internet is really big blessing as it helps us to express our feeling and condition. I am a regular reader of My CFS blog and there Kitty wrote this entry a few days ago: invisible illness week – 30 things about my invisible illness and then, there is another entry that you might like to read: “30 Things About My Chronic Illness ” Meme

If you read this blog regularly then you know that I have been fighting my own battle against illness. Well, my illness is not invisible but in a way it is worse. A series of misfortunes almost destroyed my life. I used to live in a bad and unhealthy apartment for 12 years and fought with my own family, had fighting with some nonsense people over nonsense things. I also suffered from money stress and there was this overweight and cholesterol problem. Very small things added up together and made my life a living hell.

Others could not understand my problems because most of the time, they were so small and nonsense but when combined together, they really almost killed me. For example, I could not sleep at night at all and in day time, I felt sleepy but could not sleep as phone calls came, people called me or the bell of my apartment rang. They were really nothing but together, they were too much for me to handle.

So, I really understand the suffering of people who are suffering from invisible illness. I also understand that most of the time, normal people make fun of them as they cannot understand the problem. There is a poem in my language that states something like this: How can a person understand the pain of a snake bitten man without experiencing the poison?

I could not update this blog for more than 6 months. No, I was not sick. Rather, my health has improved significantly. I was very busy with two projects and finished them successfully.

Not to repeat the Same Mistakes

2011-08-31T04:19:00.002+06:00

August 2011 is coming to an end and I am happy to find myself in a much better condition. Today, my wife saw me in webcam and was very happy to see that my face looked fresh and healthy. I was happy too. In fact, I have forgotten when it was the last time that I looked this way fresh and healthy. May be 9 or 10 years ago or even more. In the last few days, my health has experienced good recovery. In the last 10 days, I could sleep a lot and this helped a lot too. For 10 years, I did not sleep enough and sleep starvation accumulated and contributed in destroying my health and mind.

I had 3-4 problems that combined together and broke my health down 2 years ago. First of all, I became addicted to tea, coffee and Coke. I also got addicted to all the junk food items. Secondly, I did not sleep more than 6 hours most of the time. Well, there were some problems that I had to face as far as sleeping was concerned. I totally gave up on doing any form of exercise because too much coffee, less amount of sleeping and junk food items put a lot of stress in my body and mind. Secondly, the pressure of blogging, family troubles and running a small company all by me were too much to handle. My wife was very supportive and dedicated but it was too much for her too. First, she became very sick and then it was my turn.

I stopped blogging 5 months ago, I changed home, I started doing exercise and eating better food. Now, I am trying to sleep more. My wife is as supportive as ever. So, I have recovered a lot in the last one month. Now, it is time that I will gradually go back to normal work. It is time that I will gradually go back to normal life again.

Yes, I am very happy for it but then I have to remember that I must not make the same mistakes again. The last two years have taught me some valuable things and made me wiser and matured. I have achieved some small victories that are perhaps insignificant to most people as they are not in my condition. Most of them perhaps eat healthy food anyway, do exercise regularly and do not have to suffer so much stress. However, I am happy for such a turn around. I am very happy for the change in eating habit in late thirties. I am also happy to do exercise almost every day for 30-45 minutes. I am happy to see the improvement in my heart condition. It reached to its worst condition last August and I had to go to a doctor start taking statins.

I am happy for all the small things that I have achieved in the last two years. However, I am happiest for the change in me as a husband. I am happy to be a much better husband that I was 2 years ago. You see I have read many romantic novels and watched many romantic movies. I always dreamt to be a good husband but when you are under too much pressure then becoming even a normal husband becomes impossible. So, I am happy that I don’t need any excuse to cover up my badness in my marriage. This is such a good feeling that I cannot describe it in words. I hope that someday, I can express this happy feeling in writing- be it in a novel, short stories or a drama.

So, I must not make the mistakes of the past anymore. I am a happy man now and repeating the mistakes of the past would only take away this happiness. I will try to take care of my health from now and must not try too much for my work.

I noticed that the number of followers for this blog has reached to 72. I am surely happy for it and I like to thank everyone again for this support. Well, I wish that some of you could put comments regularly so that I could feel strongly motivated to write more regularly in this blog. Then, I cannot blame any of you as I do not write comment in your blogs either.

Just One Year Ago This Day

2011-08-14T01:13:00.002+06:00

I have to say that my health has improved significantly but at times, I get frustrated as I am not fully recovered yet. It is frustrating and today, I felt really frustrated. Then, I tried to remember my condition last year. Except the matter that I had much more money on this day last year, everything has improved in one year. Since I could not work much in the last one year, naturally, I do not have more money.

Last year this time, I could not sleep at all as my heart was beating rapidly. I went to doctor and found that my cholesterol level was too high. In fact, I felt much poison in my body and mind. Today, I do not feel any poison in my body and mind. This is indeed a huge improvement.

Actually, my health is improving but very slowly. So, sometimes, I feel impatient. This is really a very long battle and I have realized that I must take care of my health from now. I must not put any pressure on my health for my work anymore.

The Next 5 Months

2011-08-02T01:05:00.002+06:00

Today is 1 August 2011 and I am very happy to state that my health has really improved. Today and yesterday, I could cycle for 70 minutes on a stationary bike. Thus, in 2 days, I could exercise for 140 minutes. This is a huge improvement for me as I always struggled about doing exercise for the last 5 years. I really feel very healthy today. Well, I still have nearly 20 KG of weight to decrease and it is not going to be that easy. However, since I can do exercise every day now, I am optimistic about it.

In 2008, 2009 and 2010, I tried to decrease weight seriously but each time, I cut back on food a lot and although I could decrease 8 KG, 11 KG and 10 KG respectively, on each occasion, my weight again increased after I went back to normal eating. This time, I am hopeful because I am combining the two things- diet and exercise. This is the right combination.

Still, I have not been able to come back to full time work. However, I do not regret for that because, I know very well that if I try to work full time then within a month or two, I will again become seriously ill. Instead, I want to try totally for my health in the next 5 months. I hope to get back to full time work from 1 January 2011.

Something to be happy About: Translation of a Novel

2011-07-26T14:02:00.000+06:00

I am very happy for this work. The last time, I translated a book was in 1998 and it was Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One's Own. I did it from English to Bengali (my mother tongue). It was published in a newspaper serially. This time, I did not do the translation alone. In fact, Mehdi Hassan and Biplob Kishore Deb worked with me. We translated Datta by Sharat Chandra Chattopadhyay and you can find all the chapters in this link: http://bnlit.com/novels/sharat-chandra-chattopadhyay/

We are not the first persons to translate it. I guess that this novel has been translated by several people but we are the only one who have put it in Internet and you can read it free. From the sitemeter, I noticed that some people are reading all the 26 chapters. It took nearly 2 months for us to complete the project and now, we have to inform others.

It was always my dream to translate from my literature because first of all, Bangla is one of the top 6 or 7 most widely spoken languages on earth. Secondly, it has a very rich literature. Do you know that outside of Europe, it was Bangla literature that bagged a Nobel Prize first in 1913?

I am very happy that I could at last form a team for this project. I had this dream for the last 20 years but I always knew that it was impossible for me to do it alone. So, please read the novel and let me know your idea.

The weight Loss Journey Begins

2011-07-20T03:34:00.002+06:00

It is simply amazing to see how just a single month can change everything. In the last one month, I could do exercise almost everything and as a result, I really feel fresh, energetic and young. I do not feel sick or weak and now, I am facing perhaps the last battle to get back to normal health- weight loss. I need to lose nearly 20 Kilogram (44 pounds). This is not a joke indeed and for the last 3 years, I have been trying very hard to lose weight but failed each time.

Each time, I could lose some Kilograms and each time, I came back to the border of obesity. This time, there is a real difference. I have been able to do exercise every day with a stationary bike for the last one month. Secondly, I have been able to change my eating habit radically. I have found some very healthy recipes thanks to YouTube and they are tasty too. The best thing that has happened is that I have been able to stop eating outside food (restaurant and fast food shops) 100%. Finally, I have started to get back the strong will power that I had in the past. Last but not least, I have real hope of getting God’s blessing in my weight loss journey.

Nearly 3 months ago, I changed my apartment and now, I live in a very comfortable and healthy place. So, everything is improving and I am deeply grateful to God. From this Friday, my real efforts will start to decrease weight. It will not be an easy thing but I have to keep on trying with all my heart.

After frustration there is Hope

2011-07-17T18:35:00.002+06:00

July 2011 is turning out to be a great month for my health. I feel much much better and my health has improved to the level that I could not imagine 30 days ago. I have started to feel younger and I already look fresh and energetic. May be it will take another 6 months to get back my health but I am very optimistic now.

How was July 2010? Not good at all. I was sick, weak, exhausted and frustrated. I had perhaps the best opportunity in my career but I could not work simply because I was too weak to do anything. I do not regret now for the lost opportunities because I have become a much wiser person in the last 2 years. Now, I need to find some opportunities or some opportunities need to come on my way.

It has been a very difficult time for me and most of the time, I was very frustrated and worried. However, hope kept me alive and kept me going. I find it almost impossible to believe that I am not sick anymore. This is such a good feeling that I cannot describe in words. Especially, it was a very long spell of weakness and it seemed that I would never become normal again.

This is a very important lesson for me. I must keep on trying and then success will come sooner or later.

Just Never Give Up on Life

2011-07-04T18:45:00.002+06:00

It is now almost one month that I have given up my habit of drinking tea. At first, nothing changed but now, I can see a good improvement in my sleeping time. I have been also doing exercise regularly these days. So, these two things are now helping me a lot. I can obviously say that my health has improved significantly enough for me to dream of starting working again. My stress has decreased to a great extent and it is very helpful too.

I just finished an interesting article: How to Defeat Kolrami and I agree with Steve Pavlina that in life if you are run after money then there is a good possibility that it will not come. You have to enjoy your work and then success will come. This is a very simple rule in life but most people learn it in a very hard way.

I thought about this matter that why I failed in my career. Five years ago, I became a fulltime professional blogger but after 5 years, I am a failure in this field. Well, the tragedy is that I did not fail because I was not skilled. What went wrong? Many things. Trouble with family, selecting wrong assistants, limitations of a third world country (no Paypal), no online transaction, poor health etc etc. Some of them were beyond my capacity to solve while I could solve others.

Anyway, now, my health is good enough to start working again and this time, I must learn from my past mistakes.

Back to Normal Life with some Important Lessons

2011-07-02T00:35:00.002+06:00

Today is 1 July 2011 and I feel that my health has improved sufficient enough to think that I am not sick or weak anymore. I cannot say that I have recovered fully but in the last 7 days, I could do a lot of exercise and I have started to feel much better. Yesterday, I could cycle for 60 minutes and in the last 10 days, I could cycle for 60 minutes in 3 days. Well, I normally cycle 10 minutes at a stretch but still, I am very happy for the improvement.

Last year this time, my health was too bad. I had some really good opportunities but I could not do anything. In on 1 July 2009, it was real hell for me. My wife got very sick and at the same time, I became sick too. I had to stay two weeks in the clinic with my wife and this made me completely sick. At that time, I was doing treatment of my teeth. So, compared to two years ago or one year ago, on this July 1, I feel much much better.

The only bad thing now is that I am suffering from financial stress. Well, it is not unnatural because for two years, I could not work. My blogs are almost dead and I have to start from the scratch again. However, the problem is that I know that I have to still wait 6 more months to get back my full strength. Now, if I do not put any stress on my health then I feel good. However, in the last 7 days, I had to work whole night for 3 days. I have to change this habit and I must not work after 11 PM from now.

Rest is just as important as Work

2011-06-29T22:16:00.002+06:00

Suddenly I got a good project and in the last 48 hours, I hardly had any sleep. In fact, yesterday I worked whole night and then until 12 PM noon. It is needless to say that it made my body weak and tired. I was so tired that last night, I could not sleep well. As a freelance writer, I always welcome these projects because they pay my bills. So, I was not unhappy with this recent project that battered my health. TO be honest with you, I was happy.

Anyway, after completing the project yesterday at 12 PM noon, I felt very bad and then I was worried if I would become sick. I decided to do nothing but just rest. This has done the magic. I did not become sick and today, I feel much better although I am still tired. This has taught me a very valuable lesson- rest is indeed as important as work.

This was my main mistake in the past. I got too much addicted to blogging and I used to work hard every day. Even if I worked whole night then again after waking up from bed, I used to start working with a weak and tired body. So, I got addicted to coffee, Coke and junk food items. Yes, for 3 years, they gave me enough strength but then my health broke down two years ago. I am still trying to recover fully from that and I still could not come back to fulltime work.

One good thing is that I have been able to launch a website on Bangla Literature Translation. It was my dream of many years. We have finished translating a novel from our own language (Bangla/Bengali) and now we are going to upload the chapters in the next few days. Here is the url: http://www.bnlit.com/

Well, the website needs a lot of changes but I am happy that the work has started.

Bad News but Good News

2011-06-17T04:46:00.002+06:00

Today, I gave blood test and I found out that my cholesterol level is bad- very bad. Well, it has been quite a struggle for me to fight against weight loss for the last two years. I have become overweight again. So, this is the bad news. What is the good news? The good news is that for the first time in a very long time, I feel healthy despite being sick. I feel much better although the test result told me that I am not fine.

So, now, I can try to get back health. I have decided to totally try for it and I have just started a 24 hour long water diet. Already, 10 hours have passed and another just 14 hours to go. I could even walk 20 minutes and cycle 40 minutes today. So, it was one hour of exercise even. I feel much better and I am committed to do a real change in my eating habit this time.

Having a good wife (or a husband) is indeed the best blessing in life. I hardly write anything about my wife here simply because I just want to keep my personal life as private as possible. I just want to say that I could overcome all the nightmares in my life because of constant support from her.

In short, the good news is that I have at last started to feel normal and the only thing that I need to change now is my sleeping habit. I still cannot sleep at night. Well, tomorrow will be 14 days that I am not drinking any tea. So, I am hopeful that I would be able to change my sleeping habit within a month. It feels nice to see that stress has decreased substantially.

Now, it is all for trying for weight loss and decreasing cholesterol. Not an easy thing to accomplish but I am hopeful.

New stage and New Challenge

2011-06-15T13:18:00.000+06:00

I wish that I could say, I am completely fine and now, I am back to fulltime work. Well, I am not but I am not sick either. I am really now in the transitional period.

In the past, the main mistake I did repeatedly was that when I felt just some better than I became eager to start working fulltime and then I again became sick. At last, I am acting wisely by not putting any undue pressure on my health. If I have to work hard one day then I make sure that I can have enough rest in the next day. As a result, I am getting better day by day. Because I am getting better, I can do my works easier and faster.

Sometimes I wish that my life was normal like most people around me but then it would have been boring. I am eagerly waiting for the next adventure. Yes, I am leading a small team to do something that was always my dream. We hope to get it done in the next two weeks. This dream project is my next challenge and it is consuming all my time and all my attention.

Life goes On

2011-05-27T06:29:00.001+06:00

It has been 5 long weeks that I have not written anything in this blog. Life has been eventful and many things have changed. Fortunately, good things happened at last for a change and my health has started to improve. Almost every day, I feel that I am getting back to my normal health and most probably within a week or two, I will really be able to get back to normal career. It is a long and perhaps cruel struggle for existence but I am very happy to have experienced it.

So, what next? Perhaps, the more important question is, what now? Now, for the time being, I am still not back to my normal condition. I still need to wait but now waiting has become sweet. I can now rest in a good mood. For many years, this kind of normal condition was absent. Stress became my constant companion for year after year. Stress brings bad feeling and it does not allow you to move in life.

The worst thing happens is that you lose vitality in your heart and you stop believing in your abilities. What can be worse than this in life? Last year, this time, I was sick and the only thing that I can remember is that I had some great opportunities to write but I was simply too sick to do so. Now, I have to create some opportunities by working hard. It is not very difficult if I can work hard.

The reason that I like the suffering of last two years is that it has taught me any valuable lessons. More than anything, it has made me emotionally stronger. It has made me wiser and more than anything else, it has made me happier. So, hopefully, I can update the blog once a week from now on a regular basis.

Small changes can make a Huge Difference in Life

2011-04-22T20:43:00.002+06:00

I am now in a do or die position in life. I have to shine in my career and I have to shine in the best possible way. Failure is not indeed an option. So, I have to try my best. For this, I need maximum effort. Only then I can think of becoming successful. This is not easy at all because I am not young anymore and I do not have the energy. Still, as I just said, failure is not an option.

So, I have to think of increasing the level of my efforts. I do not see any big problem but what I need is to make some small changes in my daily life. The goal of these changes will be to increase the time of my daily work. I do not have any shortage of skill and I know how to earn money. I just need to make a comeback to fulltime regular work. I need to forget everything and just focus on my work. I know from my experience that money will come automatically.

May be it is repeating the same thing all the time but this is now my only problem. I must just start working fulltime. This is my only way out in life.

Back to normal life Back to normal Work

2011-04-04T13:36:00.000+06:00

At long last, I feel very happy that my health has improved enough and I can go back to normal work. It has been nearly two years of absence from normal life and normal work. Fortunately, my mental stress has finished significantly too. So, I really can start fresh.

I do not have any grand scheme or any ambitious plan at this moment. Just working 4-8 hours a day seriously is the only thing I wish to accomplish. If I can do it then it will bring maximum happiness for me. Before I became sick, it was my major problem. I was not satisfied with almost anything. I was pushing myself all the time for more success.

Now, there is no competition with anyone. I will just focus on myself and just carry on my day to day activities. This blog has helped me a lot and I intend to continue writing here whenever I can. I like to thank all of you for all the support.

A New Beginning with New Hope

2011-03-28T08:58:00.000+06:00

Life can sometimes become painful and frustrating. My main problem in life is that I am in a country where PayPal has not come yet. I am hoping that Visa can shine in this field as in my country we have Visa card. So, I have to face limitations in every step. This can be as frustrating as possible. I have all the skills and ideas but my hands are tied. On the other hand, writing is the only thing I like and I can do well. Because of bad health and mental stress of last two years, even I could not blog well.

Now, I have to make a very strong comeback and I am doing so. Yesterday, I could do another thing that I felt that it was indeed a miracle for me from God. I could cycle for one hour. It is not a real bi-cycle but an exercise device and I burnt nearly 400 calories. This simple thing has now given me a lot of hope.

For at least 6-7 years, I felt very lazy about doing exercise. I tried to get my energy through coffee and Coke. I also consumed a lot of junk food. Now, it is almost 19 days that I have become a vegetarian. It is another miracle for me given by the fact that I was too much fond of junk food items. The best part is that I do not feel any craving for meat now.

Yes, I have started to feel young again and I have started to regain my energy. So, it is the time for me to start writing fulltime again. I am very lucky to have a dedicated and supportive wife.

It was great to Write in this Blog

2011-03-26T13:50:00.002+06:00

It is like a farewell post for me here. I am not going to totally stop writing here but I know that I will be totally irregular. I have to start from the beginning in online writing and there is no time for hobby writing unfortunately. So, I have to start again writing for money and sadly, I have to try my best now. I have to give all my efforts elsewhere.

I never took this blog seriously but still, it attracted a decent number of followers and Feedburner subscribers. I like to thank all of you for supporting me. It is a sad and painful decision but there is no other choice. I have to give all my heart for earning money through blogging. This blog is not suitable to earn any money.

Hope can recover you powerfully

2011-03-25T10:44:00.002+06:00

Today, I woke up at 6:30 AM in morning. For the last 3 days, I have been able to wake up early in the morning. For the last few years, it was my biggest problem as I could not sleep until 5 or 6 AM in the morning. Then, I had to wake up and I had to take tea and coffee a lot just to stay some fresh.

I had hope and dream and now, I realize the value of hope and dream more than ever before. Now, the next thing to fix is earning money through blogging. At the same time, I have to decrease weight. I am now under low calorie diet and mainly, I am trying to become a vegetarian. It is impossible to get out of overweight unless I commit to a permanent change in my eating habit.

This is the thing I am trying to do now. I could never imagine that someday I would be able to totally omit fish and meat. It is true that my heart craves a lot for spicy, frying and oily food items. I think of mutton and large shrimp every day. I think of burgher, sandwich, mutton chop, chicken fry, beef kebab almost every day but for the last two weeks, I could stay away from them. Even I have not eaten a single packet of crisps in the last 15 days.

This is a big revolution for a person like me who was addicted to junk food. I never gave up my hope of becoming a vegetarian.

In the last 20 months, I could decrease weight on several occasions but then again my weight again increased because I never tried to become a strict vegetarian. Now, I am trying my best for it.

A Silent Revolution in Changing Sleeping Time

2011-03-24T06:30:00.002+06:00

Now, it is 6 AM in the morning. No, I did not stay awake whole night. Instead, I could sleep at 9:30 PM at night and woke up 5 AM in morning. It happened yesterday too. I have to wait another few days to realize whether this change in time is permanent or not but I am very happy for it.

Even last week, it seemed to be impossible to me. Perhaps, becoming a vegetarian has helped a lot. For the last 3 days, I could even omit egg. Of course, I am overweight and now, the main priority is to decrease weight. I need to decrease at least 15 KG (33 lbs.). For the last 3 years, I have been trying to decrease weight. Sometimes I can do so and then again come back to the original weight. This time, I am hopeful because at last, I have been able to become a vegetarian. Of course, I have to decrease use of oil.

Becoming a vegetarian is good from financial side too. My expense has decreased significantly as vegetable items are much cheaper than meat or fish.

As for the sleeping habit, I must not go back to what I did in the last 5 years. Well, life was full of stress and I became nervous and sought comfort in coffee and Coke. Tea is much better. In the last two days, I even drunk tea but did not face any problem.

Happy Birthday: The Second Chapter in Life

2011-03-23T07:15:00.000+06:00

Today is my birthday and I am happy for it. I am an Aries and I guess that I have many of the positive and negative sides related to this sun sign. Five years ago on this day (22 March 2006), I started professional blogging or blogging for earning money. I cannot believe that 5 years have passed. It really seems like yesterday. Now, after 5 years, here I am again.

I have to start almost from the scratch. However, I am not sad or unhappy. I am starting my efforts with a happy heart. My health has improved significantly. I can touch it easily. I am hopeful that things become bright for me.

How to really learn from Failures and Bounce Back?

2011-03-22T01:41:00.002+06:00

I cannot claim that I have bounced back from my failure but I surely know that I have learnt some valuable lessons. I am hopeful that these lessons will help me to effectively bounce back in life in the next few months. Now, it is important to find a good strategy to bounce back. In other words, the mistakes of the past must not be repeated. If you are trying to bounce back in life after a miserable failure in anything (job, love and marriage, health, education etc.) then read this post and try to join me in the discussion in the comment section.

Slow and Steady: Whatever you do, please, do not be in a hurry unless you are in such a desperate condition that if you cannot bounce back in a short time then you will become bankrupt and end up in the street. I have seen that many people do this mistake. Why should I blame others? I am just one of them. When you are in a hurry then either you make more mistakes or you become frustrated when you do not see good result at a short time.

Do your Homework Properly: No one dreams to be a loser in life. Why did you fail in the first place? If you repeat the same things like past then again you will fail- isn’t it obvious? So, do your homework and try to analyze your mistakes. Do not deceive yourself about it. If you do so then you will again end up in failing. On the other hand, if you can learn from your mistakes then there is every possibility that you can bounce back to success in life.

Health is wealth: When we are young, we tend to think that we will always be strong and healthy. Actually, health does not get destroyed in a week or even in a month. It slowly gets destroyed and then getting it back takes a lot of time and real determination. Whatever plan you have, in order to execute it, you need good health. In fact, this is now my main problem. I have all the knowledge, information and skill to become successful in professional blogging. I just still cannot work fulltime or 8 hours a day. Five years ago, when I started blogging, I could work 12-16 hours a day.

Do not bother about Others: Most people love to give advice. Especially, when you are failing in life or your condition is really miserable, then some people around you may consider it their holy duty to give all kind of advice to you. Secondly, some people would enjoy your bad condition and would try to offend you emotionally. While you cannot control others, you surely get try to control yourself about not getting emotionally hurt. From my own experience, I can say that it is not that easy. However, you must have the dream that someday, others wont be able to hurt you emotionally. This dream is valuable. When you can isolate yourself from other people, it becomes easier for you to focus on rebuilding your life again. I wish that I had this knowledge five years ago. Still, it is never too late.

Be patient: Although I have already stated above the importance of being slow and steady, I like to again emphasize that you must never hurry while trying to bounce back in life after a bad failure. You have to be patient and if you are not then you cannot hope to bounce back.

I have just gives you a few simple tips here. I seek your help to continue the discussion. What more tips can you give?

Professional Blogging: The Second Innings

2011-03-21T14:08:00.003+06:00

I am happy to be back to fulltime blogging again. Because of sickness, I could not work for nearly 2 years but now, I feel much better. The last two years have taught me some valuable lessons. The most important lesson that I have learnt is that I must not make myself sick from too much work. There is no problem in working hard but I must not get too much excited and carried away and make myself sick.

I love blogging and I love when hundreds of people read my entries. I love when people praise me and thank me for my entries. So, here, I am back again in the second innings of professional blogging. I hope to enjoy it and become successful within a short time.

I am better, Much better

2011-03-18T08:05:00.002+06:00

At last, I have started to feel normal. I am not still 100% fit but I really feel well compared to anytime in the last 2 years. I am hopeful for the future. Now, the only problem is that I cannot sleep whole night. I am hopeful of solving it within a few days.

I also need to decrease my weight as it is now 101 KG. For the last 10 days, I am just eating vegetables and that is why, I feel even better. I always dreamt to be a vegetarian but I was too much fond of mutton. Now, the only touch of non-vegetarian food I get is eggs. Even I am determined to stop eating eggs.

No, I am not becoming a strict vegetarian. From time to time, I intend to eat and fish.

One week of Not Drinking Tea

2011-03-14T22:43:00.002+06:00

It is the 7^th day that I did not drink tea. At last, I have really started to fell normal in my body and mind. Compared to one year ago, things have really improved a lot for me. I feel that I have no problem. I just need to change my sleeping habit and come back to normal life.

For the last 7 days, I got good rest. I did not need to go out at all and I could sleep properly. I just hope that I can maintain this style and get back normal health. When I look back to my past, I feel that life was often very cruel and miserable to me. On the other hand, I neglected myself a lot too. Now, life is much easier for me. So, I have to focus on taking care of myself properly.

I am trying to make a small company successful. Now, I have realized that it is not that easy as I have to manage some other people. Sometimes, it becomes frustrating because I have to be engrossed with dealing problems related to the company and I cannot focus on my health or my work properly. On the other hand, having good assistants is a great blessing too. If they work properly then life becomes easy for me. Thus, it is like a dilemma.

I am trying to come out of the dilemma and find a good balance between managing the company and my own personal life. It is not easy because in the company, I have to deal with human beings not with machines.

It is a small victory for me that I have not taken tea for one week. I did another good thing too. I ate like a vegetarian for the last one week. This is a big victory because I am too much fond of goat meat.

For the last few days, because of not drinking tea at all, I felt some abnormal. My mood changed a lot from time to time. Today, I feel much better.

Why am I Fond of Blogging?

2011-03-13T03:29:00.002+06:00

I am happy that at last I have found something to write about other than repeating about my health and mind. Just for the record, today is the fifth day that I have not drunk any tea and I feel some tired but fresh. It will be another night of not sleeping but I am hopeful that within one week I can sleep at night. Anyway, the original topic of this entry is why I like blogging.

I like blogging because first of all, I like writing. I always wanted to be a journalist or a writer. I tried some other jobs mainly teaching but I did not get that much satisfaction. Yes, I still enjoy teaching but I do not like going to a university or school and teach. Instead one or two students come to my home and I teach them privately. It is perhaps more tutoring than teaching. Anyway, blogging has brought the freedom for me to write.

I used to be a freelance journalist and I have published more than five hundred writings in newspapers and some magazines. I have translated a book and I have written many things for other people. Ninety percent of the time I used to write for money but living in a third world country, the money from writing was never enough. So, blogging has brought me the freedom that on the one hand, I can write fulltime with all the satisfaction. On the other hand, I do not need to worry about money.

Many people tend to neglect or look down upon blogging. They think that it is less prestigious than freelance writing. In other words, a freelance writing carries more prestige and honor compared to blogging. Somehow, I agree with them but at the same time I like to remind them that even in freelance writing or writing, if your writing is not good and is not appreciated by other people then it dose not have any respect or value. Many people try their luck in writing but only a handful of them become successful in this field. The same goes for blogging.

Many people or I should say millions of people have tried their luck in blogging in last five or six years. Very few of them could earn enough money and became famous. So, from this point of view, I do not see any major difference between freelance writing and blogging. Yes, freelance writing has one advantage. Most of the time, your writing is supervised by editors. In blogging, there is no editing in most of the cases. Still, as I have said if you are successful in blogging then it matters.

So, another good side of blogging is its potential to change life. For example, I live in one of the poorest countries on earth. We hardly have any modern facility. Communicating with people of other countries was always a major barrier for me. On the other hand, since I joined blogging, things have become much better. I can communicate with people of other countries. I have received some praise for my blogging too. Many people read my entries. Before coming to blogging, my hands were really limited but now in every way, I feel that I have more opportunities.

So, now you know why I am fond of blogging.

Another Sleepless Night but without any Stress

2011-03-12T02:47:00.002+06:00

I have understood that I will not sleep again tonight. It is 2 AM but I feel fresh. Today was the 4^th day that I did not drink any tea. I am hopeful that within a week I can change my sleeping habit. It will be great if I can sleep within 1 AM or 2 AM at night.

The main problem now is that at day time others call me and I have to wake up. It totally puts a lot of stress on my health and mind and I cannot work well. Perhaps this is the main reason that I cannot come back to normal work. On the other hand, if I can sleep normally at night then I can work with a fresh mood in day time.

Tonight, I feel much better and I am hopeful that I can do some work. I am almost back to normal life and it gives me a lot of happiness. I know it very well that in my entries of last one year in this blog, I am just talking about the same things over and again. Sometimes, I even get bored but I realize that doing this nonsense thing has helped me a lot.

This blog has now 60 followers. I am deeply grateful to all of you. It is nice to know that some readers read my nonsense entries. While browsing throw some of the blogs of the followers of this blog, I realized that I should mention some of the entries:

Another lesson (Stephanie has talked about the importance of being patient)

The Internet: The Best Friend of Writer's Block? (The title says it all)

A Day in the Life of India (A touching real life story)

Stop Choking on Routine and Live Your Dream! (Read it and you will feel inspired)

Fighting against Addiction to Tea

2011-03-11T04:14:00.000+06:00

I am perhaps among the rare people who find it difficult to sleep at night because of drinking tea. I have inherited it from my mother. Anyway, it all started 5 years ago when I fell into a bad condition in my career and I had to try desperately to get some work that would bring some money. I was unemployed for 3 months and I gave everything of me during that time. I used to work until 8 AM in morning and then sleep. Then, I developed habit of coffee and coke.

Fortunately, I could give up coffee nearly 18 months ago and Coke nearly 6 months ago. Now, the last thing I need to give up is tea. For the last 3 days, I have not drunk at all. My health has improved a lot and if I can just now change the sleeping habit then I think that I can come back to normal fulltime work. I have learnt my lesson and I will from now try my best to keep my mental peace.

So, for the time being, the only focus is on getting out of drinking tea.

Planning is the most important step for Success

2011-03-09T19:38:00.000+06:00

I woke up one hour ago. Today, I have no special work and I have all the hours ahead of me to write or blog. So, I can easily work for 8 hours now without any interruption. In fact, my stress has almost finished and at last, I can start working fulltime without any real pressure.

Now, the main problem in front of me is that what I should do in the next few hours. I know that I should write some entries but what would be the topic. It is a very simple question but I have seen many people facing problem from this simple matter. This simple matter wastes a lot of time in our daily life. It is a common problem everywhere.

Of course, if you are in a job then you already know what you should do. At the beginning of your job, your boss or your manager normally tells you what to do. After you have become experienced, you already know what you have to do. On the other hand, I am a self-employed person. I run a small company. So, I have to decide what has to be done everyday. I have to decide for myself and for others working with me. So, planning is indeed a crucial thing.

Until now, I never spent a lot of time on planning. Because of this reason, I have suffered many setbacks in the last few years. I have been able to stop watching TV and I have been able to cut back on the time of browsing Internet without a purpose. So, I have more free time now and I must focus on this matter from now.

I am fond of speed but in the last few months, I have realized that if I do not plan what I have to do then I cannot accomplish enough. Planning is not enough and I know it very well. I have to try to execute the plan in daily life. Without that there is no difference between planning and dreaming. On the other hand, you cannot execute your plan successfully every day. In that case, you must not become frustrated. There is no better enemy in life than frustration.

For the last two years, I was so preoccupied with my physical weakness that I could not focus on my mind that much. It is now time to motivate myself so that I can work fulltime. I am still very young and I have at least 30 years of working life. So, losing two years from bad health is not a big deal.

Just Stress free Regular Working can make all the Difference

2011-03-09T05:21:00.002+06:00

I do not exactly come from a poor background but my parents were not wise about money and as a result, I had to suffer most of the time in my life under too much stress over very simple matters. Today, I discovered that for the first time in my life, I have almost not stress. Now, the only thing I need is to work fulltime regularly. Even my health has improved significantly.

I have years of experience with me. So, I do not have to do anything new. Instead, I just need to increase my productivity. Until now, I was always under a lot of stress and I used to feel that whatever I did was not enough. Now, I know that I do not need to put my health to any danger. So, now, my only focus should be to work fulltime without any stress.

I must not take any project that would put any undue stress on me. Instead, I will just do things that I can do without any stress. I feel very happy that I have realized this matter. Of course, I could come away of the shadow of the past stress and sufferings because of continuous efforts. I just need to continue trying. I am happy that my condition has reached to this level now.

When I look back to the past, I realize that my main problem was undue stress. Because of too much stress and tension, I could never work according to my full potential. I was always an under-achiever only for this problem.

The Value of an Hour of Focused Effort

2011-03-04T21:30:00.002+06:00

While I am trying to come back to normal full time work, the biggest obstacle that I am facing now is working continuously. There are too many distractions and in the end, I get frustrated almost every day as I achieve too little. I have been blogging for 5 years now and it is not a difficult work. It is not something that is totally impossible. Now, my health is almost back to normal level. So, blogging should not be a problem for me anymore. In fact, blogging is now the easiest work for me in the world. I know a lot about it. All I need is just to sit in the desktop or laptop PC and then work.

Still, somehow, I cannot come back to normal work. Last night, I was taking a look at the emails of 5 years ago. I tried my best to get a normal blogging work as I was desperately searching for a work in Internet. Even after I got the job, I had to struggle a lot as I had no idea of bringing visitors to my blog. Even that is not a problem for me now. So, I have to just start with one hour of focused work. Before that I need to find out the distractions.

Television: I would not say that T is the biggest distraction for me but I have noticed that 90% of the time that I watch TV, I watch something really meaningless. I mean that I just watch for watching. It is not that I am fond of the program that I am watching. TV is a passive thing and from now, I will try to avoid it as much as possible.

Internet: I am always in Internet- checking email, Sitemeter, Google News, some blogs and newspapers websites etc. This is the source of major distraction for me. I at first found it a lot of fun as I was under too much emotional stress in life. It is like a drug to forget the physical and mental stress. However, now, I am in normal condition. So, I will try to change this bad habit.

People: Fortunately, I do not mix with a lot of people. Still, I must improve in this side. I have to decrease interaction with others and allocate more time for my works.

Frustration: It is perhaps becoming the number one distraction for me. I am finding life somewhat difficult because I was out of full time work for almost two hours. I have to again start almost from the scratch. Believe me it is not easy.

One Work at a Time and One Hour at a Time

In order to come out of this vicious circle the best thing for me to do now is to take one work at a time. I will just start focusing on one hour at a time.

What I realize is that now, I have to start a fight to control my mind. Until now, the fight was to make my health some better. I have been able to come out of bad health. Now, it is time to improve my mental ability.

Trying to find answers to some Questions in Work

2011-02-28T05:59:00.002+06:00

I am back to fulltime blogging almost. I know that I am saying the same thing for many days but fortunately, I am almost back to the level before I became sick and suffered a series of misfortunes. So, I am almost getting back my health.

Now, as I have started working seriously, I have noticed that I lose my way most of the days. That is why, I have realized that I need to find answer to some questions so that I can overcome my problems and focus on my writing.

It is better I try to write down the questions of which I need to find some good answers.

1. How to find out the most important problems?

2. How to focus on my work every day?

3. How to overcome the distractions and just work continuously for an hour?

4. How to ensure that I can sleep at the right time and do not suffer from sleeping problem?

5. What are the things should I do to become successful in blogging?

There are many questions that I need to find answers. Many of us have similar problems and they try to find the answers.

Earlier today, I was thinking of writing about these problems and their solutions in this blog. At first, I thought that I should not write about these things as they often become similar like spam content. After all, there are many websites and blogs about personal development. Then, I felt that it was not a bad idea to write about these problems because I am a person who is dealing with these things every day. So, at least, I can share my experience and my struggles, my successes and failures.

I am not exactly trying to earn anything by writing about these questions and trying to find their answers as they will be mostly written from my personal experience. Even, I cannot claim that I know perfect answers for even one of these questions. I also don’t know if I can really follow my own advice. What I just know is that I will be able to discuss about these questions from real life problems and experience.

Steve Pavlina is perhaps my most favorite person in this regard. I like his website and blog simply because he suffered real problems and then tried to overcome them. So, he wrote most of the content in his website from his own personal experience. Well, to be honest, I do not agree with many of the things he said in his website and blog and I hardly follow any of the strategies he wrote there. I never purchased anything from his website or I am not even encouraging anyone to do so either. I just like his website because it helps me to think about my own life.

So, from 1 March 2011, I am going to think about a particular problem for a day or for two three days continuously. I will try to find solution to the problems and then will try to write about the whole matter.

Literally in the second phase of my Professional Blogging Career

2011-02-26T21:05:00.002+06:00

Last night, I spent several hours checking the condition of our blogs. Now, we update 7 blogs and we are 4 bloggers. In theory, there should be nothing wrong but in reality, I have to start from the scratch as the condition of all the blogs is very bad. So, I am kind of back to the beginning as far as professional blogging is concerned.

It is sad and painful but I cannot blame anyone as I could not work for many months. Anyway, I am happy that Google has decided to act tough against content farms and spammers at last. This is good news for people like us who always focus on good content.

Because of this decision from Google, life should become some easier for me now. Anyway, if I can work hard then generating good amount of traffic wont take more than one month. I have come back to fulltime blogging at last.

Try to stay calm in Tough Condition in Life

2011-02-25T21:53:00.002+06:00

Just a few minutes ago, Bangladesh achieved an inspiring victory against Ireland in ICC World Cup Cricket 2011. Naturally, I am very happy that my country won the match. Cricket is the most popular sports in this country.

The win of today was inspiring and amazing because Bangladesh batted first and scored just 205 runs from their allotted 50 overs. Very few people could think that Bangladesh would be able to defend this small score. The bowlers tried their best and in the end, Ireland fell short of 27 runs.

This victory brought a lot of inspiration in my heart because my condition is more or less like our cricket team these days. I am trying to make a comeback to my career of professional blogging. Right now, I am the underdog and things are not working well. That is why, this cricket match brought a lot of hope in me. Bangladesh players could make a very strong and dramatic turnaround because they worked hard.

So, in a happy heart, I am going to stay calm and work hard. I am going to be dedicated and serious about blogging from this moment. I am going to try my best. In fact, five years ago, when I started professional blogging, I did not think of anything else but I gave all my heart to become successful. Success did not come right away. It took nearly one year but when the success came, it was resounding. I have to remember that lesson and again try with all my heart.

At last back to Blogging Again

2011-02-24T23:41:00.002+06:00

For the last 4 months, I have been trying to come back to fulltime blogging. I could not do for various reasons but now, I am back to my real profession. I do not need to do anything extraordinary or special- just do the thing I can do best. I am fond of writing and this is the thing I can do best.

My condition is reaching to desperate level but I know that things can change totally within just one month. So, I am very optimistic.

My wife is also trying help me in her own capacity. I was reading this entry of Problogger: I Do: Tips for Co-blogging with Your Spouse

My wife has supported me a lot in the last 5 years. She helped me every way possible- from house work to blogging. She has really been my source of inspiration. I wish that I was a better husband for her. I am now trying my best in this field.

So, I am happy to be back to blogging again. I have been able to finish the other couple of projects in my hand. My assistants are now serious too. So, hopefully things will improve very soon.

Tomorrow is just a new Day

2011-02-22T03:05:00.001+06:00

Today was not bad as I could work with some satisfaction. I am hoping for a better tomorrow as I can realize that I am slowly moving towards going back to full time blogging. At this moment, I am not only blogging but also doing a couple of projects related to freelance writing.

The best thing that has happened now is that the 3 members of my team are working hard. They are serious. So, it is easier for me to guide them towards the completion of a project. Just last week, we finished making a website on sports and we earned some praise for it.

We are not very happy with the website as it did not justify our skill, knowledge and talent. We had to finish it very quickly. For some unknown reasons, Internet attracts me a lot. I enjoy working in this field more than anything else. May be the main reason is that here, I have all the freedom. There is no one to limit my potential.

Well, in a way, I am almost back to normal work because now a days, I can work most of the time. So, I do not need to feel frustrated. Rather, I must keep on trying and keep on going.

How to Get Back the Confidence: A million Dollar Problem!

2011-02-21T01:37:00.002+06:00

While I am back to my normal self in fulltime work, I am still to get back my confidence. The main problem is that because of almost two years of absence from fulltime work, my blogs are now doing very badly indeed. Traffic is at its lowest point. The same goes for revenue too. So, I cannot be in a happy state of mind.

On the other hand, I know very well that if I can focus on blogging then things can become bright within a short period of time. I surely lack the confidence now. As a result, I am unable to work with all my efforts and focus. Thus, I am unable to find my consistency in blogging. This is now the main problem for me.

Perhaps, the best thing to do at this moment is to again start fresh. I am too much tired emotionally. Five year ago, on this day, I started the blog (20 February 2006). At that time, I was in a desperate condition in life. I had no income and there was no hope for the future. I just tried to find something in Internet. Fortunately, within a month, I found a blogging job and then I could earn money.

Again, I have to start from almost zero. So, I am going to try my best to become successful in blogging. This time, I need to do my best. I really cannot afford the luxury of seeking my confidence. I have to do or die just like 5 years ago.

How to Work hard without Becoming Sick?

2011-02-18T10:49:00.002+06:00

I am now better and I am almost back to my best energy level. The bad news is that I have again gained some extra weight and at this moment, trying for weight loss has become a necessity.

The good news is that I have been able to come back to my normal work. In just two weeks, along with my 3 assistants, I could finish a project of writing content for a sports website. It was a tough project but we finished it in a good way. Now, I am not eager to take any new project but I want to focus on our blogs.

I really missed fulltime blogging for quite some time. I started full time professional blogging from March 22 2006. So, it is becoming 5 years. Until March 2009, I could work fulltime. Then, a series of disasters happened and I lost two years. Now, it is the time to start again seriously.

The most important lesson that I have learnt in the last two years is that I must never try to overdo any work. In other words, I must not put any stress on my health and mind. The best way to understand is to work as long as I do not need to drink any coffee or Coke.

If I can follow this simple rule then I can surely work hard without making myself sick. This is now the main challenge and I have work hard on it. It is not difficult but it just needs that I do not get carried away without anything.

Arsenal has won against Barcelona: I am Happy

2011-02-17T03:48:00.002+06:00

The match just finished and in this Champions League 2011 match, Arsenal won by 2-1 at the Emirates Stadium. I am a big fan of Arsene Wenger and it is a happy night for me. At the end of the first half, Barcelona was leading by 1-0.

Until the 77^th minute, Barcelona could hold on to that lead. Then on the 78^th minute, Arsenal got the goal through Robin van Persie. It was a superb strike from zero angel and the Barcelona goalkeeper got stunned. Then in the 83^rd minute, Nasri provided a superb pass and Arshevin scored.

The second leg will take place after two weeks. This may just be the season of Arsene Wenger. I am also hopeful that this will be my own year too.

Health First and only Health First

2011-02-12T15:55:00.000+06:00

In the last 10 days, I was too busy with a couple of projects and could not take care of my health. As a result, I became sick and it is not fun. I am still not in good condition. The main reason was that I was very excited with a work, I was too much engrossed with the problem of one of my assistants and I needed to use my health and brain both a lot.

This sickness has taught me a very valuable lesson. From now, I will just focus on my health and I will not do anything that would enter any serious pressure.

It has been years of fighting for existence. In a way, I feel that I have won the major battle of my life and I am now in a position to make life better from this point of time.

Until now, all my efforts were centered on just one thing- survive. Month after month, I was worried about just getting enough money to pay the house rent and utility bills. How can I forget the days when I could eat 3 decent meals a day?

Yes, in a decent way, I have achieved a decisive victory. God has supported me all the way. Now, it is the second battle that I need to win. This time, it is not for paying the bills or it is not for eating 3 square meals a day. This battle is for motivating myself to stay healthy and become successful in my career. I like to congratulate myself for being able to come to this stage.

I do not know if any of you have experienced same kind of difficulty in life but from my own experience, I know very well that whatever difficulty you had or still have- the pain is still the same. So, you have all my support. Just do not give up your dream of coming back to normal life.

Why should you Open a Blog?

2011-02-05T10:23:00.002+06:00

When I opened my first blog nearly 6 years ago, the only thing I had in my mind was to earn some money. The goal has not changed yet but this blog has taught me another lesson. These days, I am back to normal lie as my health has improved a lot.

I have written about my condition for the last one year here and now, I feel that if your life is in a miserable condition then you really should open a blog. You do not need to give all the personal details or any kind of sensitive information. Still, you can write about daily life here.

Life is becoming better at Last

2011-01-31T00:35:00.002+06:00

Today, I felt so fresh in my mind that I started to feel my recovery just like real miracle. The reason is that, just a month ago, I was suffering a lot and totally frustrated. Coming back to full time looked like a distant possibility for me. Now, in the last ten days, I had works so hard that today, I had to force myself to take a day off from any kind of work and I just rested.

It is such a great feeling because just a few weeks ago, coming back to full time work was looked an impossible to me. I have written continuously for the last one year about this matter. My health is not up to the mark yet but now I am very hopeful that very soon, it will become fresh. Suddenly, I am full of energy and happiness.

Right now, I am doing a very important project and it is taking a lot of time and attention. I am happy that I can handle this kind of project but I should have not done it this month. I should have waited for another month or two and that is why I have decided not to take any new project for the next few months or few weeks at least. Even one of my assistants has come back to work after nearly four months of absence. So, things are getting better for me and even my health is improving. I just miss my wife a lot and I hope that she will come back after a few months. If I had just my wife beside me right now, I really would not miss anything at all.

This remarkable recovery has taught me many valuable lesions. Positive attitude and hope both are very valuable. I have fought against many problems in the last two years. My health suffered and became very weak. I could not sleep night after night and month after month. I had to be without my wife most of the time in the last two years. My income suffered and at times, there was real tension about money. My career suffered in the worst way. Sometimes, even just living a day became painful. Yes, all these things have happened to me in the last two years but here I am, and I am. All these things are now lost in the past.

Of course, life has its ups and downs and against I will have some problems and sufferings. However, this time, I am hopeful that I will be more mentally prepared and happy and cheerful state of mind. Another important things that has helped me a lot is perhaps the belief in God. Well, I am not a religious person at all. Somehow, I have strong faith in God and I try to pray regularly or irregularly. Thanks God for the recovery.

Back to Almost life as Usual

2011-01-26T03:32:00.000+06:00

The last 24 hours have been very busy for me as I had to some important works. Yes, I am not at my best yet but I am back to work. Naturally, I am very happy for this matter.

Today, when I opened my email box, I found that one of my readers had sent me an email in which he advised me not to continue this style of blogging of talking about personal problems, sadness and frustration. He feels that this won’t do any good to me in the long run. He stated that revealing pain in a public place like Internet will only make me weak instead of strong.

Yes, I agree with him almost 99%. No matter what I say here, in my heart, I know that he is right. I thank him deeply for the email. He felt sympathetic towards me and that is why, he wrote the email. I hate to admit it but he is right.

I gave a serious thought about it and decided to listen to him but then, I decided to read some of the entries of this blog that I had written in the last one year. Just one year ago, my condition was really miserable. I could not sleep whole night and I was under too much stress.

This was me and how I can deny this truth. At that time, I had hardly any hope that I would be normal just after one year. I dreamt for it but the dream looked to me like a fancy fairy tale instead of an achievable goal.

Here I am, after one year and the fairy tale has indeed come true. In the last one year, my life was not a bed of rose. Most of the time, condition was frustrating but I kept on writing here. Even, I repeated the same thing week after week. At times, I lost hope but then I said to myself that I must keep on going and I must not lose hope.

I am not that stupid to actually believe or claim that because I wrote these entries in this blog, my problems got solved and I am now back to normal life. However, this blog helped me in another way. I could remind myself in front of the world that I must keep on going, I must keep on trying and I will not give up on hoping for the best.

The second thing I did was that I started to read some blogs that had similar content. The blog of Kitty is perhaps the best example. Through her blog, I discovered some other blogs that had similar content like this blog of mine. These blogs do not contain some catchy and encouraging sentences or maxims. The bloggers just write about their failures, frustrations, struggles and even helplessness. Reading the entries of these blogs opened my eyes and I started to feel that my own suffering is not unique or rare. It is not even related to living in a third world country like Bangladesh.

I realized that thousands (if not millions) of people around the world, have similar (if not exactly the same) problems like I have. This idea influenced me deeply and then I realized that I must start to value the things I have more. After all, I have a very good couple life. I have a job that I like a lot- writing. Fortunately, my health started to recover at the same time.

This is perhaps the only reason that I am going to continue the way I write in this blog. I really hope that some people in any corner on earth would read the entries of this blog and would discover just like me that life can be very rough sometimes. Hopefully, my entries would give them some food for thought and would inspire them not to lose hope.

Stress is the worst Enemy: Positive Attitude Your Best Friend

2011-01-23T00:58:00.002+06:00

This month, I am on course to earn the least amount of money in the last 5 years. The reason is plain and simple. For the last 1 and half year, I could not work regularly. For the last few weeks, I was under a lot of stress from many things and in my agenda; money worry was in number one position.

I tried to stay positive and happy although it was very difficult to run away from tension. After all, I know that my problems were real and they visit me on a regular basis. Still, I tried my best to have a positive attitude. Yes, sometimes, I lost my heart but because of trying to be positive, I could remain happy for most of the days.

Now, I can see the good impact of this effort. First of all, I have been able to come back to full time work. Today, I woke up at 9 AM. I went to a work at PM and came back home at 5 PM. It was an impossible thing for me even just 3 months ago. After coming home, I did a long meeting with one of my assistants about the future of our company as the condition looks bleak at the moment.

We discussed for two hours and in the end, I discovered a very simple thing. The main problem is not lack of opportunities but it was stress that was killing all of us. What stress does best is that it creates a feeling of insecurity. It all the time reminds us that we are in a miserable condition. We must try to get out of the miserable condition as soon as possible. When we go for speed then naturally, the possibility of making mistakes increase drastically.

As a result, we are making many more mistakes in our work than before. So, naturally, we are moving one step forward and then going two steps backward. More than anyone, I was making the largest number of mistakes. I was making the mistakes because I was too much in a hurry and it was stress that was urging me to become even faster.

By discussing with my assistant today, I realized that our condition was not bad at all. If we can work normally then we can again get back to our best condition within 3-4 months. The magic formula is very simple- just work normally every day.

Hoping that it is not a False Start Again

2011-01-21T17:17:00.002+06:00

Things have improved in every front suddenly in the last 4 days. Fortunately, weather has improved a bit and I did not become sick in the end. I have been able to go back to fulltime work and yesterday, I worked almost 12 hours. I had to go to 3 offices and then after coming home, I worked until almost midnight. Today, I am in a relaxed mood and tomorrow, I hope that I won’t have to work that much.

Since I am coming back to normal work, at first, it will be some confusing and difficult. After a few days, things will become normal. I am very happy that at last, my health is supporting me to go out and do some work. For the last two years, going out was a real nightmare for me.

Every month, 3-4 days will be tough but I must not drink coffee or Coke. Secondly, after passing the tough days, I must rest for at least 1 day. In the past, this was my main mistake. I tried to use my will power a lot and then, I was much younger. So, it was not a problem.

I just hope that it is not a false start again. This time, I really can work.

No better Sauce than Hunger Indeed

2011-01-17T01:55:00.000+06:00

December 2010 was the worst month for me as far as earning money in last 5 years has been concerned. January has potential to become even worse than December. Well, I am not hungry or even worried for money because fortunately, I have some extra to help me pass through some more rough months. Still, I know that I have to get back to full time work as soon as possible.

Now emotionally, I have no problem to get back to work and I really have no problem to work 12-15 hours a day just like the past. It’s just that my health has not recovered enough to even work 4-5 hours a day. Yes, it is possible to work 10-12 hours by drinking 5-6 cups of coffee but that would only bring back the poison in my health and mind that made me so sick in the first place.

Hunger is indeed the best sauce but I am just happy that I am not hungry at the moment. Instead, I have become fat again and from 1 February, I intend to again try to decrease weight, start doing exercise and work full time.

It has been a very emotionally exhausted journey for me. Now, I am very happy. When I look back to my life, I feel that I lost in everything except in my marriage. God really sent me a miracle in the form of my wife and this victory has really compensated all my failures in life.

With each passing day, I just understand the value of a good couple life more. Tonight, I watched one of my most favorite movies: The Man from Elysian Fields.

I searched a lot for this movie in the last 3 months but could not find it. I wished from my heart to watch it with my wife. Now, I have to wait for some months to watch it with my wife.

A big day of Working Ahead

2011-01-16T09:44:00.000+06:00

Sadly, I just have only 5 hours of sleep last night. My health is fine but what happened is that it is very cold here. I live in a poor country and 99% people do not have room heaters. So, the cold wave has made it very difficult for me to work. For example, at this moment, I feel tempted to go to bed under warm and thick blanket instead of sitting in front of the desktop PC.

Last night, I planned with two of my assistants that today we would give a push for our blogs. However, just now, I found that one of my assistants could not sleep that much last night because of cold weather. So, most probably, today, we cannot get much work done.

I feel sad now because last one year I could not work due to illness. Now, when my health is much better, I am facing one after another difficulty. Well, this is natural part of life. We have to move ahead in life against all the odds. I know it very well because my whole life has been just one long struggle against all the odds. Life is indeed not a bed of roses.

By the way, last night, I watched the match of West Ham vs Arsenal in television.

Going back to the Basics for Restarting full Time Work

2011-01-13T18:33:00.002+06:00

From today, I am going to give all out efforts to start working full time again. I have been trying for the last two and half months but have not got any success. I am perhaps too much consumed with the idea of improving my quality. This sense of perfection is not bad but it is killing myself at this point of time in my life.

I am going to forget about quality and I am going to start working full time from this moment. I will just think of working and keep on going. I know that if I just try like the past then sooner or later, things will be better and I will be able to produce quality content for my blogs. In the past, I could do it and again I know that I will be able to do it.

So, I am going to just work full time and try for working. I wont care whether my content is good or bad. If needed, I will repeat the same thing over and again. I just need to get back to my work.

This has become a really bad entry but I am not sad for it. Instead I am happy that I could write it and motivate myself to start working again.

Hoping for a better 2011 after a Bumpy Start

2011-01-12T19:41:00.001+06:00

It is the first day of anther long spell of missing my wife. Of course, I am some sad and lonely but I know that it is needed because of our reality. The main thing is that we love each other very deeply and I have seen many couples who are much luckier than us when it comes to being together but they have no happiness. So, in the end, I am not unhappy but surely I miss her a lot.

Today, I have been trying to get back to full time work. I know that it will take some time and most probably it will take a week or two because in the last two weeks, I could hardly do any work. My health is improving that is why I am hopeful that I can get back to full time work this time. I am just trying to focus on resting a lot and making myself fresh. Actually, compared to that the same time of last year (January 2010) my health has improved significantly. I clearly remember that last year this time, I had hardly any strength and my main problem was that I could not sleep at all whole night. Most probably, I was suffering from a bad level of insomnia and I used to sleep whole day. I am deeply grateful to God that my sleeping habit has become normal and now a days, it becomes very difficult for me to stay whole night awake no matter what happens. In the last seven days, I drank a lot of coffee but from today, I have totally stopped it. So, I feel some tired but I know that from next week, I will again feel totally fresh.

Fortunately for me, this time, it is not that cold and this is another reason I feel better. I can tolerate summer hit much easier than winter cold. The funny thing is that most people are just opposite as they find winter more comfortable than summer.

In last summer, fortunately, I could buy an air conditioner and that is why I am not that much worried about the summer hit of this year. My main worry is electricity problem but I have got a laptop which should help me.

2011 is the year for me to work hard and earn some decent amount of money. In a last two years, I could not work that hard and my income suffered a lot. Hopefully, in the next two years, things will become much better and I am happy that recession has finished in the

United States

Positive Energy can make some difference in Life

2011-01-11T16:18:00.002+06:00

Today is a sad day for me as I had to go to the airport to see my wife off. She has gone to her own country to her own parents and I spent the last 4 days with her in a clinic. Fortunately, her health recovered enough and we now know that her health will improve from now on. Yes, I am sad but not depressed.

I have realized the importance of positive energy. I tried to convince myself that this temporary loneliness should be used in a constructive way so that when I am with my wife again, it can help us to have better life. In the last 3 months, I tried to be with her as much as possible but the reality is that at the end of the day, I have to take care of a small business. So, I could not spend enough time with her despite the fact that I saw her after 15 months of absence. Still, I am very happy that I tried my best to make her happy.

So, I want to start working fulltime seriously again from today. My health has recovered enough. Although I suffered a lot of stress both physically and mentally, my health did not break down this time. Instead, I feel that I have the stamina to start working fulltime right away.

Today, I felt that writing in this blog has helped me a lot emotionally. Yes, I feel very lonely but I think that I will be able to deal with the sadness. I am trying to wait for my wife in a happy heart. We have very good relationship now and this happiness is helping me a lot.

Aniruddha Sen: A New Personal Blog

2011-01-06T01:18:00.002+06:00

First of all, Aniruddha Sen is a follower of this blog of mine and I am happy that he has started a blog of his own recently. Before anything, I should give you the address: http://aniruddhasen.wordpress.com/

There are just 3 entries right now and that is why, it is perhaps too early to write a review about the blog. However, if you can spend a few minutes in reading these 3 entries, you might notice two things. First of all, Aniruddha Sen has a nice writing style. He is most of the time talking to himself but on second thought, you may feel that he is actually talking to you (the reader). I like this style.

The second thing that you might feel like me after visiting the blog is that Aniruddha Sen is interested about different topics and I hope that he does not try to limit his blog on any particular topic but write about the things he knows and likes. After all, personal blogs should be like this.

Real Love and Real Happiness is Perhaps More Abstract

2011-01-06T01:09:00.000+06:00

The last few days have been very tough both emotionally physically. On 31 December 2010 night, my wife suddenly became sick and I was awake with her whole night. In the last 5-6 nights, I did not have enough sleep. So, naturally, I am physically exhausted. Emotionally, it is even more painful because she has to go to her parents’ home another country just within a day or two. She just came back 3 months ago after a long absence of 15 months.

It was heart breaking for me to see her cry tonight as she was extremely depressed that she was forced to leave me again for another long spell. I took her clinic, two doctors and two diagnostic centers in the last two months and each time the result was good. I mean that the doctors could not find any problem with her. Most probably, she is from another country (we met each other in Internet) and her health is some weak to tolerate the environment of my country.

I really cannot think of any other moment of my life that is sadder than this evening. It gave me a lot of pain and my heart is very heavy at this moment. I just gave this consolation that at least; I have such a good wife who is crying from missing me. In real life, most of the couples I have seen around me are nowhere near us. Many couples just quarrel from nonsense and very silly things. It is not that we did not have problems in our marriage. However, most of the time, we could solve them because we never stopped loving each other deeply. We could never imagine finishing the marriage even. God is really kind with both of us in this regard.

I fell in love with my wife 8 and half years ago and for the first 3 and half years, we used to chat with each other in Internet. Then I could come to her country and for 5 years, we are together in real life.

Earlier tonight, I tried my best to control myself that I do not cry. Still, I am deeply crying inside my heart but as I said, I am happy too that God gave me this kind couple life in which, we could really touch and feel abstract love. At last, we have both realized that our love is not dependent on looks, charm, physical pleasure, diamond necklace or ring, beautiful dresses or any other thing. Our love is dependent on love alone.

With all the pain, I at last touched that we two have become like Jim and Della of The Gift of the Magi. Tonight, I again touched the word of Buddha that happiness does not come from comfort and luxury but happiness comes from fighting and conquering over sorrow. Yes, we have a lot of pain and sorrow in our couple life but we are trying our best to leave them aside and just love and support each other.

I am hopeful that her health will become better in the next one or two years. Even if it takes another 10 years, it is no problem at all. I am hopeful only because my health has improved significantly recently after a long spell of suffering. We both had to try too much for this marriage as we hardly got any support from anyone.

2010 was not a Bad Year

2010-12-31T17:00:00.002+06:00

I am not exactly a person to celebrate the coming of New Year or go to any party. Instead, I try to work or have a normal day. Today, I was thinking of the year that is passing 2010. It has started in a very tough way for me because I could not sleep at all. In fact, for the last ten months of 2010, I had continuous sleeping problem. It was only from November, my health improved some and I could sleep. Now a day, I do not have that problem.

Sleeping was not the only problem for me in 2010. I had to face other difficulties too. This time the electricity was very bad and for nearly four months, I suffered from summer gift. Fortunately, from the first week of August, I had air conditioner and that is why that time from August to October, summer was tolerable.

My work and income both suffered extremely because I could not work continuously even for a week. However, from last month, I could get come back to normal work but my income is still miserable. Now, I have noticed that getting back to full time work is becoming possible and that is why although I am worried about money, I know that it will be solved very soon.

Yes, in 2010, I suffered a lot but when it is finishing, I felt that it was not a bad year. It helped me to fight against my health and improve my health to a good level. I am still 100 kilogram and I need to fight seriously about decreasing my weight but I am also hopeful. I am hopeful because in 2010, I achieved a very important victory over my health. I could change my eating habit and I could also remove the laziness about doing exercise. As a result, I feel fresh and some energetic compared to one year ago. In a way, 2010 was the year to fight and also too build some base for myself. Now, in 2011, I have to work very hard and earn some decent amount of money and get some success in Blogging.

If you ask me what was the best thing for me in 2010, I will say that it was the learning about the importance of hope and positive energy. I feel optimistic about the future although I do not have the good income now. My wife is still fighting with bad health. Hopefully, she will become better in the next one year. Now, she cannot work with me anymore and naturally, it has added more pressure but it is not a problem for me because I have understood that happiness is even more powerful. If I can just get back my energy and work like past then earning money or getting success in Blogging is not a big problem because I have a lot of knowledge in this field.

In 2011, I have two major goals. I want to get back to 80 kilogram of body weight slowly. I tend to decrease 1.5 kg of weight every month in the twelve months. Secondly, I want to achieve success in Blogging but I do not want to achieve success quickly. In fact, neither to decrease my weight nor improve my career, I want to be in a hurry. Instead, I want to achieve them in a year instead of just 3 months.

This Blog has helped me a lot to fight against the rough time that I passed in the last one year. I will try to update it regularly from now and may be after a few weeks, I will try to write about my personal matters less but write about other things more. Even I have started to feel bored from repeating to same thing about my condition. So, I can easily understand that most of the readers have no good feeling either. Still I like to thank all of you for reading the Blog and this really helped me a lot emotionally.

Happy New Year 2011 and May your Life Become Better

2010-12-28T20:04:00.002+06:00

The year 2010 is almost coming to an end and it is perhaps the time to take a look at the last one year. In short, it has been a very tough year for me every way. However, when I look at the same time last year than I have to accept that my condition has improved a lot. So, I’m not sad and even I am optimistic that 2011 will be a good year for me.

Last year this time, I was suffering in every way possible. Working was impossible for me and the worst thing that I had to deal with was lack of sleeping at night. I think that for nearly one year I could not sleep at night. So, I’m happy that 2010 is finishing and the new year is coming.

If you had gone through the entries of the last one year in this website, you will notice that I had been saying almost the same thing over and again. It is because, it was very difficult for me to come out of the bad condition.

Unfortunately, when you were an adult then you cannot just leave everything and focus on your health. For example, no matter how sick or weak I became, I had to look after a small business. Fortunately, my business is Internet related and I can manage it from home. Still, running a business has its challenges and when you were extremely sick, any new problem seems too much to deal with. The economic depression or recession made life even more difficult. I noticed that with the same amount of traffic, my income became half.

It has been more on less the same story for me for the last one year. Now, the biggest challenge for me is to find some decent amount of money but I’m not afraid or nervous because my health has improved significantly. On the other hand, the bad impact of the economic recession has decreased.

I know that some of the readers of this website are reading my interests on a regular basis. I like to thank all of them for this. I wish all of you a very happy new year.

You should not be Perfectionist while Coming back to Full time Work

2010-12-28T00:16:00.002+06:00

To be honest with you, I’m finding it very difficult to come back to full time work. It is much harder than I anticipated and I’m trying almost every day but still no good luck. November was much better but December has been bad. I’m hoping that from January 2011, I can really start working fulltime. One of the problems that I find is that I’m trying to be a perfectionist and as a result, I have to suffer from a lot of negative energy.

For example, when writing this entry, I am concerned whether it is becoming good or making any sense. This is really foolish of me because the reality is that I have still not been able to come back to my full capacity. When I can come back to my full capacity and then I should bother about quality. From tomorrow, I will not think of quality at all but focus on just writing. I know that it is a very long journey of becoming a successful writer. It may take another 10 years but I will try my best to achieve the dream.

This is the thing that I will try to remember from tomorrow. It is indeed a very long journey in life to become successful as a writer. I have to face many limitations and to be honest with you, I’m very lucky that I could find blogging nearly five years ago. So, from now, I waited only focus on working fulltime and forget everything else. In January, my only focus will be to work fulltime and nothing else. I would not bother even if the content that I create is absolutely trash without any kind of quality.

Instead, I will try to a remind myself every day that quality comes after trying a lot.

How to make a Comeback to Fulltime Work after a Long absence?

2010-12-27T00:09:00.002+06:00

It has been nearly two months that I tried to come back to full time work. I almost managed to comeback but somehow, it was not enough. Sometimes, it is quite frustrating and I wish that it happens very quickly. I am hopeful that I can really start working fulltime from the new-year or from next week. The most important lesson that I have learned is that it is very difficult to make a real comeback to full time work after a long absence. I’m doing a lot of soul searching and trying to find a right strategy in this regard. Anyway, I’m going to talk about some tips that may be helpful for you if you are suffering from same kind of problem like me.

Be slow but be consistent: When you are trying to make a comeback at first, it will be very difficult to maintain consistency. I am still finding it very difficult. So, it is better that you try to be slow for the first few weeks or a few months. In fact, sometimes, I feel going back to full time work very overwhelming because I do not have any habit for a long time. So, what I’m trying to do is to work less amount of time but work every day. You can give it a try.

Don’t Get Upset from setbacks: In life, suffering from setbacks is very natural. When you are trying to come back to full time work then be sure that you will suffer even more setbacks. Just try to take it easy and do not get upset. Do not put any stress or pressure for it on your mind. Just remember that at the end of the day you do not have any other choice but to come back to your work. If you are still young like me then you really have no choice. So take it easy and do not get upset.

Hobby is not a waste of Time: I am more or less a workaholic person and I enjoy doing work. However, at this point of time in my life, I have realized that it is better to spend a lot of time with something that I really enjoy a lot. I found some movies and Korean TV serial that I watched a lot for the last few months. It has really helped a lot. It has helped me to get free from some of the stress and brought a lot of freshness in my mind.

Talk to yourself: I did not know what kind of person you are but I like to talk to myself a lot. Talking to myself has helped a lot and every day, I tell myself that sooner or later I will be back to full time working. At the same time, I constantly remind myself that I must not put any kind of stress on my nerve.

Always be optimistic: Positive energy can really make a difference in your life. When I feel bad or pessimistic then I try to remind myself that just compared to one year ago, my condition has improved significantly. Last year during this time, on every night, I could not sleep and had to stay awake until noon. I could not do any work and I did not have any kind of physical energy or mentally strength. Compared to the same time last year, my condition has improved a lot. If this trend continues then in the same time next year, it will be much better. This kind of optimism really brings a lot of hope in my mind about the future. I’m still young and energetic. So, my advice for you is that in any case, keep your dream and positive energy intact. You really need them at this crucial moment in life.

Failure is a part of Life: This is a very important lesson that I have learned in the last 20 years. Yes, I have failed a lot and most probably 90% of the time, I could not become successful in anything. Failure is not only a part of life but also it has helped me to learn and grow. For example, five years ago, I started trying for Blogging in Internet and at that time my financial condition was very bad and miserable. I tried my best and unfortunately, I poured a lot of stress on my mind and health and my health collapsed. Thus, although in a short time, I achieved tremendous among of success in professional Blogging at a very short period of time, I could not sustain the success and became seriously ill. This time, I have learned my lesson from the previous failure and I want to grow gradually.

Final Words: In conclusion, I hope that the tips I gave you in this entry will be helpful for you. Even if you find nothing useful still, I want you to think about this matter and you must not put any pressure on your mind when you are making a comeback to fulltime work after a long absence.

Merry Christmas Everyone

2010-12-25T20:51:00.002+06:00

It is Christmas Day. I am not a Christian but I respect Jesus Christ a lot for his dedication towards humanity.

The spirit of Christmas to me is to try to be a better human being. If all of us just try a little then the world really can become a better place. The world is too much filled with selfish people who are ready to do anything for their own benefit. I am not an angel either but most of the time, I feel that we easily can sacrifice our own wanted a little bit and this can improve the world.

We all seek peace and happiness. But in a society, peace and happiness does not simply depend on ourselves alone. It is dependent on everyone. Christmas gives us this message that we all need to try to make the world a better place.

Razib’s World: The new name of this Blog

2010-12-18T18:41:00.000+06:00

I have decided to change the name of this blog and from now on, the name of this blog will be Razib’s World.

On February 2011, this blog will become 5 years old. I started the blog at a very crucial time in my life. At that time, I had hardly any idea about blogging. So, everything was new to me. Just one month after starting this blog, I got the opportunity to join a blog network and earn money. As a result, I had to leave this blog and I could never take it seriously.

My original goal was to write about Bengali or Bangla Literature. We posted some entries on it. We also posted some entries on English literature but for the last one year, I just wrote about my own condition. I suffered from bad health and writing this blog helped to take away some of the mental stress.

While doing it, I understood that this was more fun than writing about Literature. I always wanted to write about my ideas on different topics. However, professional blogging or blogging for earning money is not that compatible with writing about different topics. Professional blogging is more related to targeting some keywords and try to take them on the top positions of Google Search. This way, people would visit and you would earn money.

It is not that I do not need to earn money. I desperately need now to increase my income. However, I do not need to earn money from this particular blog. For that, I have another blog on technology and I want to earn money from there. I am working very hard these days for that blog. A lot of my time is spent to read about business and technology each day.

I want to use my spare time to write for this blog. Fortunately, the condition of my health has improved a lot. So, I hope that I can update this blog regularly from now. My target is to update it 3 times a week.

What about the content? I want to write about anything that I like. I know that it is not good for a blog and perhaps even not good for readers as they will find it difficult to follow. Still, I wish to do it as I think that it is my best opportunity to write what I want.

How to Revive a Blog after One Year of Absence?

2010-12-17T16:23:00.000+06:00

This is my main challenge now. I could not work for nearly 18 months (July 2009 to December 2010). I a gradually coming back to my full capacity as, my health has been improving slowly but steadily. I hope to again start full time blogging from 1 January 2010. These days, I do not put any pressure on my health and whenever I feel some stress or tired, I stop working. It is frustrating but this is wisest thing to do. As a result, I am getting back my strength and have started to feel fresh.

It is like repeating the same thing again and again in this blog. However, things have improved a lot in the last one year. I was taking a look an entry of this blog of one year ago: What are your Writing Goals in 2010? I stated that my goal was to just write daily 2000 words for my blogs. I could not fulfill my goal because of bad health. Now, I am hopeful about 2011. I think that I can achieve this goal.

How to revive my blog after one year or one and half year of absence? The answer is simple. I need to just work every day. I have all the knowledge needed to increase traffic. In other words, I know what should be done. I have to do the things I know.

Fortunately, the economic recession is over too and this is a good sign.

Happiness Makes Tolerating Suffering Easier

2010-12-17T01:11:00.000+06:00

Half of December has already passed. I have been more or less busy in the last two weeks and I am almost back to full time working. However, I was almost out of work for a long time and that is why am finding it difficult to adjust to the real life again.

This is life and we have to face many obstacles on a regular basis. I have realized that despite all the hardship that I am facing, I am a very happy person. Happiness is very important in life and unfortunately, most people think that earning a lot of money or having a lot of luxury can bring all the happiness.

At this moment, my income is at perhaps its lowest point in the last four or five years. Still, I can find myself to be a very happy person and in the last five years or even in ten years, I am now in the happiest condition.

Because of this happiness, it has become much easier for me to tolerate all the obstacles in life. I have to face many challenges. I have to look after my business and also try to grow my company. It is a difficult work because I am still not back to my 100% fitness. I have to also try to improve my Blog and increase the traffic of my Blog. It is also another difficult work because I have been out of regular work for a long time.

I am a big fan of Buddhism and according to Buddhism, happiness means trying to fight and win against your sadness. In our life, we have different kind of sorrows and we have to fight with them. If we can find a good way to overcome them then we are really happy.

This is the main message of Buddhism and although I am not a Buddhist, I have understood that this is true. In fact, most of us are busy with searching for happiness, comfort and luxury. We want to be successful and famous. What we do not understand is that at the end of the day, being happy does not mean that you have to become famous.

Being happy should mean that you get satisfaction from your life. So, if you are unhappy for anything or you are suffering in your life then try to spend one hour or two hours for thinking about it. Ask yourself that what is the cause of your unhappiness. Is it somehow related to money? Is it related to failure in your career? Just try to find what makes you happy and then you can become successful in anything you do.

December 2010 Brings New Hope

2010-11-30T19:50:00.002+06:00

November is finishing today. I could achieve what I wanted- going back to full time work. From tomorrow, it is the beginning of December 2010. For the month of December, my theme is happiness. By nature, I am an optimistic type of person. I find myself happier than most people around me. Part of the reason is that I can be satisfied with almost nothing.

I was very spoilt in eating and perhaps still this is the case. However, in the last one month, I have changed my eating style radically and I have been able to totally come out of my addiction of coffee, Coke and Mutton. I have also been able to substantially decrease eating spicy foods and frying foods. Of course, I have to give most of the credits to my wife as she tried her best to change my eating habit.

Coming back to the theme of happiness, this month, I want to try to be happier. Perhaps, I am too much focused every moment. It is not bad as it helps me a lot in my career but it also puts too much stress on my health and mind. I always try something extra. If I can write 1000 words in a day then I try to write another 100 words. For doing so, there is a lot of extra pressure and this is the thing I will try to change from now. Secondly, I am all the time checking the results. For example in blogging, I am checking after every 20 minutes how my blog is doing- in other words, I check the sitemter quite often to see the stats of visitors and page views. At first, it was very useful as I needed to learn about blogging. I needed to see the effects of my entries in the short term and long term. Now, I really do not need it. Instead, I just need to do my work.

For the next one month, I am going to find out the things that take away my mental peace and I will try to deal with them. It is not as easy as I am saying. In fact, life is not like a machine or computer software. It is too complicated and it is full of surprises, exceptions and unexpected things.

Really Back to Full Time Work: A Very happy Feeling

2010-11-27T01:46:00.002+06:00

Today, I really felt that I was back to my full energy as I could write 14 entries for my another blog. My previous record was 12 and thus, today, I could make that record some better. Well, of course, when you write 14 entries on a single day then quality is bound to suffer but I am more or less satisfied. What has happened is that I have been trying to work round the clock in the last few days and that is why, today, I could work much faster. The main reason, I wrote so many entries is that it was Black Friday 2010 and there was so much to cover.

It shows that I am back to professional blogging after an absence of almost 16 months. I could rest a lot too and I did not need to put any undue stress on my body or mind. Instead, I feel fresh now. If it was not nearly 2 AM, I could perhaps easily work another 3-4 hours.

Actually, I enjoy writing a lot. Some of my friends are fan of movies while some like travelling but for me writing is my profession, passion, hobby, work everything. I really missed it too much because of bad health. That is why, I must not put any undue pressure on my health.

My health is improving and I can sense it each day. Today, I noticed that I am getting back some energy at last and I have started to feel fresh.

At last Truly back to Full Time Work

2010-11-24T23:42:00.000+06:00

The last one week has been extremely busy but I enjoyed it a lot. At last, I am back to full time writing. I have dedicated everything for my gadget blog: http://www.laptopet.com/

Well, in normal circumstances, I would not put myself to write about technology and gadgets but now, I have no other choice. I could not work for nearly 16 months. Technology and business can bring good money and I need to start earning money. More than most people, I understand the value of having enough money to pay the bills as most part of my life has been a sheer struggle with earning money.

That is perhaps why my favorite novel is Keep the Aspidistra Flying. It is written by George Orwell. In this novel, the hero declared against Money but then finds out in the end that we cannot live without money.

In my case, I never declared war against money but I had a very bad family who just drained away my energy. Anyway, it is a very long story.

So, now, as long as I am alive, I am reading and writing about smartphones, tablet PCs (like iPad or Samsung Galaxy Tab), laptops and netbooks. May be, after a few weeks, I will start to dream about them. I am not sad or unhappy because I enjoy writing about computers although all my life, I just studied humanities subjects like Literature, Linguistics, History, International Relations, Political Science, Logic and so on.

This time, I am trying to be cautious about not working too hard. Whenever, I feel tired, I try to take rest for 30 minutes. As a result, my health is improving and I am happy.

My wife is very supportive and her support is crucial for me. She is doing everything possible in her capacity to take care of me. I not only missed her last 15 months, I also missed her taking care of me. Couple life indeed is the most important part of our life but I have seen many people neglecting it at the expense of outside fun and entertainment.

Now Facing Problem with Internet

2010-11-16T00:07:00.002+06:00

When everything looked very well for me, Internet problem came. For the last 5-6 days, my Wimax modem is not working properly and whenever I start to browse Internet, within a few minutes, it gets hanged and then after a few minutes it becomes ok. It is a very annoying problem. Today, I took the modem to the shop and they could not fix it 100% but the situation has improved some at least for today.

It is too much frustrating for me as when at last, it seemed to me that I can start working full time I cannot work properly. Anyway, this is a small price you have to pay for living in a third world country.

Now, Internet is some better and I hope to start working. I am dying to write fulltime as I miss it too much.

A New Beginning on 1 November 2010

2010-11-01T09:34:00.002+06:00

It is already 1 November 2010 morning in my city and I woke up 30 minutes ago. I am going to start working fulltime again from today. It has been 16 months indeed that I could not work because of illness. It is not that I stopped working totally. I had to look after my small company and the workers and had to manage the day to day happenings. However, I could not work regularly and consistently. As a result, my blogs have suffered a lot and my income is at its lowest point for the last 5 years. Thus, I have to work hard indeed.

This blog has helped me immensely to pass through the rough time. If you read the older entries then you will get an idea of my sufferings. There were many days that I was sitting beside my PC for whole night but could not write anything or could not sleep either. I am just happy that I can start working.

Now, I know my problem very well- dehydration. So, I have to drink water all the time and I will also drink some fruit juice.

Now, the blog has 43 followers. If any of you are reading this entry now, the only I like to request you is to take care of your body and mind.

It has been a very tough Journey: I am back to my fulltime Work

2010-10-31T01:39:00.002+06:00

At last, I have been able to come back to work. I still cannot work fulltime but it is much better than the last 16 months. For the last few days, I was very busy with writing a cover story for a magazine. It was a very difficult work and I hope to finish it today. Thus, indeed, I am going back to work by the end of this month. There is one day more and I hope to rest a lot tomorrow and start fresh in my career from 1 November 2010.

My health has improved significantly at last. From yesterday, I have totally stopped eating red chili powder in curry. This is indeed a radical change in me. I was too much fan of red chili powder. I could tolerate it in very high level and if the curry did not have enough of it then I would find it very difficult to eat.

It is still impossible for me to imagine mutton or chicken curry without red chili powder but then, I have totally stopped eating meat. So, my weight is not increasing and my health is not deteriorating either.

Most probably, at last, I have realized my problem. I am suffering from dehydration. I am drinking a lot of fruit juice and water and I feel much better. This is a very odd problem and no doctor has been able to understand this matter until now. My wife has been suffering from the same problem. She could understand it and now, both of us feel much better.

In fact, today, I could work a lot and I felt very healthy. I have not felt this way healthy for at least 2 years. Today, I could finish the cover story for the magazine. It was 6,000 words long report and it was very difficult for me. However, this writing exercise has helped me a lot to come back to my work. Since it was for a magazine, I had to finish it before the deadline.

By the way, I am watching a Korean serial in Internet in the last few days. The name of the serial is Pure 19 and you can enjoy the episodes at free of cost here: http://www.dramacrazy.net/korean-drama/pure-19

The drama is in Korean language but there is English subtitle. If any of you have any time then give it a try. Just watch 10 episodes and I am sure you will like it enough to watch the rest of the series.

So near yet so far

2010-10-17T00:26:00.000+06:00

For three days, I suffered from a very nasty cold and hopefully, tomorrow, I will recover enough to start working. It became a sad thing for me because I was almost well enough to start working and then the cold destroyed everything.

My weight has reached to a stable condition and I am now moving around 95 KG. If I can just decrease another 5 KG then it will perhaps be enough to maintain a healthy life. My eating habit has radically changed. I am taking now much less oil and spice than compared to even 3 months ago. I am eating brown rice every day and it is very healthy.

It is one week of my wife’s coming and naturally, I was very busy. My hands and fingers have got a lot of rest as I could not get any opportunity in sit in my computer. My hands and finders feel fresh. This is a great blessing for me. For almost 9 years, I have been using computer every day and as a result, my fingers suffer a lot of discomfort. This break of one week has made them fresh again.

I still have 14 days to go back to fulltime writing. I am hopeful for it. Yesterday, a nice thing happened. A very popular blog from Hungary gave link to an entry of another blog of mine and as a result it brought 4,000 extra page views.

I have been able to remain optimistic because I have won in my war against obesity. I guess that going back to fulltime writing would happen very soon.

Need a Tablet PC for my Writing Job

2010-10-13T16:37:00.002+06:00

Today, I was supposed to work normally but when I woke up then I realized that I have caught a very nasty cold. As a result, it became impossible for me to sit in front of the computer and write. I was in bed for most of the time. I wish that iPad comes to my country soon and I can buy one. Apple’s iPad is too expensive for me but the Eee Pad of Asus should be a good bargain and it is supposed to come to the market on March 2011. Then, I can work even from my bed.

For the last 5 days, I could not write anything and that is why, my hands and fingers feel fresh today. This feeling is very good because my hands have become tired after typing for many years at a stretch.

I could never imagine that someday, I would not be able to write at all. The last 15 months have taught me that I must take care of my health or else, it will become impossible to write. There is a good news- the largest selling computer magazine in my country has published my article as their cover story for October 2010. As far as I know, it was the first in depth article about cloud computing in my country. I am making a comeback to freelance writing. The magazine has requested me to write something every month for them and I hope that I can do it.

There are still 18 days left for me to come back to fulltime writing. For October 2010, this is my goal. It is not that easy but I am trying my best.

Very near to back to fulltime Working

2010-10-11T21:23:00.002+06:00

I am very happy now as my wife came back 2 days ago. I was supposed to start working fulltime from today but a bad thing happened. In our area, electricity went at 10 AM in the morning and it came after 8 PM at night. So, there was nothing to do for me. Well, I am hopeful that from tomorrow, I can start working fulltime. I am a freelance writer and blogger and that is why, writing is my only work.

My health has improved significantly. Today, I found that my weight was 95 Kilo Gram and I am slowly losing weight. Even my waist measurement has decreased by almost 5 inches (12.6 centimeters) in the last 3 and half months. I still need to lose 10 KG of weight and must become 6-7 inches slimmer in waist. I am very happy now as I am in the right track. This month, my main focus is to go back to fulltime working. I am hopeful for it now.

After the return of my wife, life is very sweet and pleasant and I am very optimistic that things will become much brighter for me within a short time. In the past, I used to think that I would stop updating this blog after I can go back to fulltime working. However, now, I feel that writing in this blog has helped me a lot to get back to normal life.

Last year this time, I was really sick and my weight was 110 KG. I just finished a very painful teeth treatment in which the dentist did root canals with 7 teeth of mine. I became very sick and weak. I was suffering from obesity. Today, I feel very happy and I am hopeful that things will be very bright for me from now on.

Last year this time, in this blog, there were just 5-6 followers and now, this blog has 41 followers. This matter has brought a lot of happiness. I think that some people cared to read about my nagging about my bad condition. At times, I felt really ashamed that I was only writing about bad health. However, now, I understand that, writing in this blog has helped a lot to me to get rid of my mental stress. After all, I am not exactly a very extrovert person.

If you are suffering from physical or mental problems then may be blogging can help you a lot to get free of the stress.

By the way, if you have time then read this feature in Yahoo:

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/self/5-times-you-shouldnt-go-work

I like to thank all of you for reading my entries.

Let it Be and have a Dream

2010-10-07T00:11:00.000+06:00

It was a very tiring day because last night, I did not have enough sleep. What happened was that this morning, I had to wake up to do something. Anyway, tomorrow will be a better day. For the last three or four days, I’m suffering too much from the matter of electricity. For example, today there was no electricity for nearly 4 hours. As a result, I could not have the peace in my mind to work. Since my wife is coming within a short time, I can start working from next week.

Enjoy this song from Beatles:

I have started to feel much better in my health. Most probably, from next week, I will not have any problem to go back to my work. It is very interesting to think that all the good things are happening almost at the same time. Perhaps, life is like that because if you read the earlier entries of this blog you will surely notice that for the last one year, all the time I was complaining about my condition. Even one month ago, my condition was not good to do any work.

Of course, I’m not still back to my work and I miss writing. One good thing is that I have now positive mind set and it has come mainly because my health has been improving for the last three weeks. I feel that I’m very close to getting back my health as well as my job. Looking after health has become my first priority at last. I was always very bad in it and I cannot blame anyone else but myself for neglecting my health all my life. Well, I had experienced very abnormal condition for most part of my life.

I have experienced extreme poverty and suffering. For many years, I suffered from malnourishment and underweight. Then, I was under too much pressure and started working very hard. Suddenly, I gained a lot of weight and started from obesity. Then, I had to fight for decreasing weight and it has been a very bad kind of battle in which I had experienced more failure than that success.

There is now a lot of hope in everything. Maybe, at last, good time is coming for me and this time, I’m mentally ready to it that the challenge. I have realize the value and importance of positive attitude. Of course, I am not in any way implying that positive attitude will solve anything or perform any miracle. However, when you are suffering in the worst way or you are trying to recover then having a dream will help you a lot. Because of having the dream to come back to fulltime writing, tolerating the tough days became easier for me.

If you do not have a dream then really, try to have one. This may give you a lot of comfort in times of trouble.

Working for One Hour is not Impossible

2010-10-04T21:07:00.002+06:00

This week, it is my time to work for 1 hour at least each day. If I can work more than that then there is no problem but my minimum should be at least 1 hour. I am finding it very difficult to come back to full time writing and that is why yesterday, I have made this decision that from now, I’m going to work 1 hour a day for one week. Next week, my goal is to at least work two hours each day. This way, I like to increase my working time to 8 hours after eight weeks.

All my life, one of the biggest problems has been to try too much and this has done a lot of harm to my career. Of course, this is a part of growing up in life. If you can learn from your mistakes then you can improve. I’m happy that I have learned this matter that I should not go for any kind of extreme in anything. If I go for any extreme then it will only destroy my health and my mind.

This time, I’m determined that I will slowly come back to my job. The last one year has been very difficult for me but it has been a time of learning some valuable lessons that are now helping me. I do not want to be in a hurry for something. Instead, I want to move in life in a good way. More than most people, I’m fond of it speed and I like to compete against myself to do something more quickly. Slow and steady wins the race- this should be my motto from now.

After a few days, my wife is a coming and I’m eagerly waiting for her return. It is very good to see that her health has recovered almost completely and my health is improving to the level that I do not feel that I’m sick anymore. We have both tried a lot for our couple life and as a result, we both became sick almost at the same time. Now, we’re very happy that we have almost got back our health.

For me, it was very difficult to change my eating habit and start some kind of physical activity regularly. I have achieved tremendous success in both of them in the last one month. Fortunately, my wife has very good eating habits and now, I can join her. It is a very good and nice feeling that I’m out of the obesity level. Obesity is a very big problem in the world today and the sad part is that very few people are conscious about the danger of this disease.

I have been able to stop eating outside food totally. Fast food is a very dangerous thing but few people care about this matter. Whenever I can find time, I try to read about health related issues in Internet. In the past, I used to do a very bad thing of drinking too much coffee and Coke. Thus, I used to get artificially fresh and used to work all night.

Planning is very Important for Blogging and Life

2010-10-03T14:31:00.002+06:00

Yesterday, I said to myself that today would be the day in which I will start blogging again professionally. However, it has not been a good day so far. Of course, there is another problem for which I could not start working. From yesterday afternoon, I am doing a 45 hours water fasting. Today, I am not eating anything but just drinking 10-12 glasses of water. Water fasting gives my body a lot of comfort but it makes the body tired and exhausted. Still, I have started to like water fasting because it brings a lot of comfort to my body.

In fact, I have become so much fan of water fasting that even after I can lose weight enough, I will continue to do it for 48 hours every week or even just 24 hours in a week. Anyway, another important problem that I encountered today is the matter that when I sat down in my computer table, I had no idea what should I write. I did not make any plan last night. Thus, I felt that I was stuck in my mind and my mind was empty. If I had made plan then it would have been easier to start working today.

Blogging has a lot of flexibilities to offer. For example, I am now writing this entry. I surely cannot publish this kind of entry in a newspaper or a magazine but I can do so in a blog. Some readers will read this entry. Today, I have realized that I am near to getting back to fulltime blogging and freelance writing but I am still not there yet.

Now, I have no shortage of opportunities to work. I have at least 3 good blogs in which I can write about South Asia, Gadgets and Sports. If I can write quality content then Google brings good traffic, my entries get linked by other blogs and websites and some money come too. Last month, two magazines requested me to give them some articles. I also have got some opportunities to write research articles.

Just ten years ago, the condition was totally opposite. I was struggling in every way. I could not earn enough money to pay my bills. I did not have enough opportunities to publish my articles. Often it happened that I wrote something and took to the newspapers or magazines but the editors did not like my writing. Well, this is a normal part of a writing career. It happens to almost every writer. Even after my writings got selected and published, I could not get the money in time for them. This was my life ten years ago in the year 2000.

I should be very happy that I have been able to run away from poverty and suffering. Actually, having a positive mindset is very important in life. So, today, I will not get frustrated for the matter that I could not start working. I have the full month of October to get back to fulltime blogging. Today is 3 October 2010 and I have another 28 days of the month.

I have to make a plan for tomorrow. One of the basic mistakes that I always make is that I set my target too high and I cannot achieve it most of the days. I should start with small goals. For example, today, I should try to just write one entry for South Asia Blog. Surely, writing one short entry is not impossible for me. This month, the main challenge for me is to fight against my mind and change my mindset. It has been many months that I do not work full time.

Therefore, it is impossible for me to suddenly start blogging for 8 hours a day. I should try to start with 1 hour a day and try to increase my time with blogging slowly. Last month, I got huge success with doing cycling following this method. I started with just 2 minutes of cycling and in one month, I could reach to 30 minutes per day. I need to do the same thing to get back to working.

So, I’m going to work for 1 hour today for my blog. Even if I cannot write any entry, I will still sit for 1 hour and try. Gradually, I will increase the amount of hours each day and by the end of the month, I hope that I can work for 8 hours a day. Even if I can reach to 4 hours a day, I will be satisfied. Then, it will just take another one month to reach to 8 hours a day. I think that this is the good idea. Each week, I will add one hour of working and this way, within the next 8 days, I can reach to my target.

October 2010: The Month of Getting Back to Fulltime Work

2010-10-02T17:24:00.002+06:00

The month of October started from yesterday and this new month has brought a new challenge and new optimism in me. In September, I had to fight for two things: changing eating habits and doing exercise. I’m happy that I could get modest amount of success in both of them. For example, yesterday there was chicken curry and today there was very tasty and spicy shrimp curry but I did not eat any of them. Secondly, I have been doing cycling for at least 20 minutes every day. As a result, I have a started to feel fresh in my body.

This month, there is a new challenge and it is related to my work. I want to come back to full time writing. Fortunately, my wife is coming back from her parents’ home next week after more than 14 months. This is a great news for me for various reasons not to mention that it will end of my loneliness. Also, I will not need to chat with her by using my hands and fingers. It will make my hands fresh again. Thus, I’m hopeful of going back to fulltime work again.

It seems to me that everything is now becoming normal after nearly 1 ½ year. Now, I’m not sad or frustrated about the long suffering because first of all I’m almost in a normal condition in every way. On the other hand, I have learned many lessons that had helped me to become a happier person. My income has decreased a lot but I know that if I can start working full time again it will not be a problem with the help of God.

When I look back to the last one year, I really thank god that I could survive one after another disaster. I feel that I have become more matured and it is needed in life. All of a sudden, I find myself in a happy state of mind despite the fact that my condition is far from ideal. At least, I can find that I have a lot of mental peace compared to most people around me. There is no doubt that I still have a lot of problems to overcome but I can confidently say that I’m very happy now.

My advice for you is that try to be happy in every condition. I know that it is impossible because in this website, if you read my entries of the last one year then you will surely notice that I have all the time nagged a lot. It is clear that I was not happy and was frustrated because my condition was extremely bad. However, I have done one good thing and that has perhaps in the end saved me: the dream that someday I will again become normal.

Even if you cannot be happy because of the severity of your condition, still, have the dream. Having a dream will not do any harm.

Change in Diet and Exercise and Fresh Optimism for Writing

2010-09-30T01:06:00.002+06:00

The good news for me is that my sleeping time has become normal. I am sleeping in nights instead of days. As a result, I feel much better and fresh in both my mind and body. It seems to me that the suffering is indeed coming to an end. I am not still back my best but I am in much better condition now. At least, I can start writing with mental peace and without any stress.

Today, we uploaded a good article in South Asia Blog: Cloud Computing in Bangladesh: A Proposed Model

It was written by Mehdi Hassan and I. This is the kind of blog entries that I really wish to write every day and now, I am hopeful. Optimism has come in my heart because of my success with changing eating habit. Today, I ate brown rice, lentil, cucumber salad, red amaranth and mixed vegetable and bananas. There were very tasty spicy shrimp curry and chicken curry but I did not eat them. Believe me, it needs real will power to change eating habit. However, I have been able to do it.

I was also really bad when it came to doing any kind of physical exercise for the last 5 years. Even one month ago, I could not cycle for 2 minutes. For the last 10 days, I am cycling at home for 20-30 minutes every day. Today, I was even better and could do it for 45 minutes. Of course, I could not do it 35 minutes at a stretch and in fact, still, I cannot cycle more than 10 minutes continuously. It is not even a real cycle but a home exercise device. Anyway, it suits my needs very well.

I guess that anyone who reads this blog regularly gets bored because I have been repeating the same thing again and again.

How the dream of becoming a Writer Helping me to fight for my Health?

2010-09-28T18:10:00.002+06:00

I am now in the midst of a water fast of 48 hours. I have spent 26 hours and still 22 hours are left. Well, I do not recommend anyone doing it as you will perhaps find that mainstream doctors are not very fond of water fasting. Anyway, I am doing it as I feel better each time I do it. In fact, for me, there is an added incentive. You see that I was totally spoilt when it came to eating habit. I was fond of all junk food items and goat meat and sweet were my favorite. Now, I am trying to go for mostly a vegetarian diet with some fish. Changing palate is really a nightmare for a person like me but water fasting helps a lot in this regard.

Of course, I am doing it for my health. However, I have added motivation. I want to be a good writer and in the last one year, I got some good offers in my city. However, I could not do any of them because of poor health. Even earlier this month, I made a plan and collected all the materials to write a research article on Nepal but could not do so for bad health. Also, my main blog, South Asia Blog, was nominated to become a media partner of a cloud computing event that would take place in November but bad health again stopped me from doing research on this field.

So, I am trying my best to change my eating habit and go to a strictly vegetarian diet that would make me healthy again.

Going to a vegetarian diet is very difficult for a person like me whose main food was goat meat, sweets, fast food etc. I have a very supportive and loving wife. I want to live long for her and I want to be in good shape. Then, I want to be a writer and want to write many cover stories, articles and books. With this hope, I am now trying with all my heart to change eating habit and improve my health. Well, the good part is that I feel optimistic because I have won in my battle against high cholesterol and I am hopeful that this time, I will become healthy and start full time writing again.

My CFS: A Blog about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

2010-09-28T04:13:00.000+06:00

Before going to the blog My CFS, I never heard of the disease called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This blog has been started by Kitty who is a regular reader of this blog.

The url is: http://www.mycfs.me/

Kitty has just started the blog and there are not a lot of entries yet. However, by reading her first entry, I realized that this disease is not a very enjoyable one. In fact, it is a new disease and the cause of it is still unknown. All you know is that you are very tired. Perhaps, tired is a sweet word since if you are suffering from this disease then your only feeling will be exhaustion. You have to rest a lot but even rest will not bring any cure. In fact, until now, there is no cure. If you want to know more about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome then visit this link: http://www.cdc.gov/cfs/general/index.html

For the last one year, I suffered a lot of exhaustion and after I was diagnosed with high cholesterol 5 weeks ago, I started taking a statin medicine, changed my eating habit and did exercise regularly. Today, I found out that my cholesterol levels have come near to normal. However, today, I found out that my ESR in blood is extremely high and I may be suffering from another problem.

Anyway, I wish Kitty and everyone suffering from CFS all the best. It is a very tough disease to fight since no cure has been discovered yet. I hope that she can share her experience in her blog so that others can get mental strength.

After visiting Kitty’s and another blog called Learning to Live With CFS by Sue Jackson, I really considered myself lucky as whatever I suffered, I know about my problem and with good treatment, I can get back to my health. I really admire their mental strength. Hopefully, they will become better soon.

Suffering is not bad if it Can bring Happiness in the END

2010-09-22T09:35:00.000+06:00

I know very well that in the last one year, many of you have become bored with reading my entries in which all the time I complained about my health. It is true that I have suffered extremely in the last fifteen months. I could hardly do any work regularly and as a result my income suffered. Of course, there was economic recession in

USA

and it also hurt me a lot. Not only I became sick physically, I suffered a lot emotionally and I suffered a lot of stress. Fortunately, things are becoming better for me. My health is really much much better compared to one year ago. I do not have emotional stress and I’m hopeful that my income will also increase because economic recession has finished in

USA

Today, I was thinking about the suffering of last fifteen months and I thanked god because it has almost ended. What I did not perhaps tell you that in the entire time of fourteen months, I had to live alone without my wife because my wife became very sick and she went to her parents’ home in another country. I met my wife in Internet and we’re from two different countries. So, I also suffered loneliness and it made my life more miserable. My wife is coming to me in the next one month and this news has brought a lot of happiness in my mind.

I’m not unhappy or frustrated about the sufferings of last fifteen months because today I have realized that although I suffered a lot, I have become a wiser man. I have learned to give more value to the sweet sides of life. I have become indeed a happier person. I have learned a lot from my mistakes of the past and the last fifteen months gave me the time to think and contemplate about myself.

Therefore, I have learned that suffering is not bad if it can teach you some lessons. Of course you must have the attitude to learn from your suffering. The main lesson that I have learned is that I must not become impatient or extreme about anything and especially about my job. My biggest mistake was that I always had a very hungry heart about writing and I wanted to move ahead very first. This destroyed my health and mind both. It also put a lot of pressure on my wife despite the fact that I was a very good husband. In fact, I know that I’m a better husband than most men but only this mistake caused a lot of harm to both of us.

I’m happy that I have learned this lesson and now, I’m trying to increase the speed of my life. Now, both my wife and I do not suffer from any stress. Normally, I do not like to talk about my personal life in details but here I am sharing my experience with you because I have noticed that many people do the same mistake like me. Life is not Like 100m race that you must run very fast. Try to think life like a marathon race where you must conserve your energy to last for a long time. This is in fact the most important lesson I have learned and although my health has become better, I’m not rushing to work but I’m waiting that my health improves fully.

Thus, in the end I’m even happy for my suffering because it has brought happiness for me. Just one year ago, it was impossible for me to tolerate the suffering and find anything good about it. However, now when I take a look at the suffering of the last fifteen months, I think of God because I have got real blessing from God. Even if you do not believe in God still try to think about your own mistakes of the past. When suffering comes, then, think of the mistakes more and only then you can find happiness. To be honest with you, last month or August, 2010 and this month or September, 2010 are becoming the worst months in terms of earning money. I think that I had such bad income five years ago and in the last five years I never had this kind small amount of income. However, I have noticed that these two bad months are the happiest time of my life. It is a very happy time for me because I have improved a lot every way.

What about you? Why don’t you share your experience in the comment section?

Difference Between Strong Will Power and Trying Too Much

2010-09-21T06:01:00.002+06:00

Right now, I am passing 36^th hour of another water fasting. In other words, in the last 36 hours, I have not eaten anything except drinking water. It is very tough but I have hardly any choice. I have to decrease my weight and change my eating habit. Both of them are very difficult. It surely needs a lot of will power to do water fasting. You lose your energy to work. However, I have to use all my mental strength.

I am planning to continue my fast for another 4-5 hours or and break my fast when 40-42 hours pass. I also feel some kind of temptation in my heart to continue the water fast for another 24 hours but I know that if I do that then I will become sick. Thus, if I try too much then I will become very hungry and then I will be forced to eat a lot and gain back the weights that I am losing.

After many months, I could finally manage to start exercising and I am doing some cycling everyday. Yesterday, I could cycle for 30 minutes but today because of water fasting, I could just do for 5 minutes. Today, I again felt the urge that I should do at least 20 minutes of cycling but I know that when you are in water fast then you should not do any intensive exercise.

One of my biggest problems is that most of the time, I cannot understand the difference between will power and doing extreme. So, I do extreme and when you do extreme for anything then your body and mind both suffer a lot of pressure and you become abnormal and weak.

In writing and blogging, I have the same problem. When I feel some good then I forget resting and just push myself to any kind of extreme. As a result, for last one year, I could not do anything except whining all the time that I am sick. Even when I was very sick, I tried to push myself and write. I used to give live scores and updates of soccer and cricket matches despite the fact that they did not give me decent money. When you are healthy then it is no problem but when you are sick then you are sick.

Because of neglecting this simple rule in life, I have suffered a lot in my writing career at the peak time. Even 5 years ago, publishing an article was a difficult thing for me in the newspapers and magazines. Even more difficult was getting the money in time for my published articles. So, I had to do more ghost writing as it was bringing at least the money in time.

Now, publishing my writings in some magazines is not difficult although getting money in time from my published articles is still a difficult thing as I live in a third world country. One of the foolish things that I was doing was trying to maintain a blog network. Thus, I could not focus on any particular blog. This was another extreme thing I did.

I have learnt some valuable lessons at last and I am going to try to make the best use of my life from now. I am going to totally focus on blogging this time and on a single blog.

Writing this entry while doing Water Fasting

2010-09-17T23:26:00.002+06:00

I really wish to write regularly for this Blog. It was not exactly my first Blog, but my second and when I started it with a lot of emotion. My main goal was to write about the literature of my country and my language and I started it in a good way but at that time I was under too much stress about money. One of the main reasons of opening this Blog was to make a profile for myself so that I could get a job related to freelance writing or Blogging in internet. This Blog did its work and it helped me to get a paying job at Know More Media. When I applied for a Blogging job in a Blog network, I showed it as my profile in order to convince a Blog network that I had idea about the field.

Anyway after I got the job then I was forced to forget this Blog and although it is four and half years old it does not have even 300 entries. I am happy that I have started to post entries regularly. At least in the last seven days I am regular. I am happy to inform all my readers for this Blog that at last I found a very good way and I am hopeful now. Actually a few days ago, I decided that I will Blog only in one Blog for earning money and forget everything else.

I still have this attitude but I really have fallen in love with this literature Blog because of the encouraging comments that I received every week. In this age, most people perhaps do not care for literature or writing. They are more concerned with entertainment. It is natural and I have nothing against it. But I also know that I am among those few people who value literature very highly. I am fond of writing and I wish that people learn to give more value to writing and more and more people join Internet specially Blogging.

Today, I was thinking about the things that I could teach. I can teach English literature and language as I studied it, but I guess that in Internet most people are not interested because especially in this Blog most of my readers already know about English. Otherwise, they would not visit this Blog regularly. Still, it is not matter of teaching but I really like to share my ideas and thoughts about different novels and dramas. I hope that from now on, I will start doing it. In the past, one of the problems that I faced when I wrote anything about say “Pride and Prejudice” or “The Merchant of Venice”, the first idea that came to me was whether people will read them.

Now, I do not think about this matter because I have understood that some people will surely read. Secondly, I do not have any goal to earn money from this Blog. Even I do not have any dream to become famous with this Blog. So, I can easily write my ideas about different novels and dramas of English literature.

I really now do not care what others will say because if I start to care then it will be impossible to post regularly in this Blog. So, I need some help from all of you. I can see that this Blog has 35 followers and whenever I upload an entry you receive them easily. This Blog has also 145 or 150 Feedburner subscribers. If all of you can at least post a comment once a week then it becomes much easier for me to write. Matter is that when we write something and then there is no response then naturally motivation decreases.

Well, I have to understand that people are busy just like me. They surely do not have time and I have to try my best to put content and only then people will be motivated to write comment. So, if you feel that my content can make you think about something then try to come back and write a comment and share your opinion.

Bringing Benefit and Food for Thoughts for the Readers

2010-09-16T05:14:00.002+06:00

Earlier today, I wrote a long entry in South Asia Blog titled, Starting a Business with $10,000: What to Do?. What happened is that a reader emailed me and wanted to get my advice about opening a business with that amount of money. It was an around 900 word long entry and writing it brought some satisfaction. I know that this would not bring a lot of visitors but I got a lot of happiness from writing it. I got happy because I felt that I was writing well and I was giving good advice. Even if it is read by just 100 persons from South Asia, I am sure that there is something to think about for all of them.

What made me happy was the idea that I could write in a way that would surely touch the mind of some readers. I wanted to be a writer only for this reason- to touch the heart and mind of people. Of course, I admit that I could not do it well because most of the time I have to think of earning money rather than touching the heart of the readers. Still, I know very well that I have this dream in my heart and I always wanted to do it.

For the last 10 years, most of the time, I had to write for earning money and often it was like some kind of infomercial which surely brought some money for me but most of the time it took away my mental peace. Of course, you cannot be always ideal and upto to some stage in life, you have to struggle a lot and take whatever comes in your way.

When I get sad then I think of Charles Dickens who started his career in a warehouse. He had to do physical labor for 10 hours a day when he was a child. At the age of 15, he worked as a clerk in a law office and then most probably, at the age of 16, he became a freelance reporter. He could publish his first novel at the age of 21 and the reality was that all the time, he was trying to earn some money by selling his writing.

Compared to Dickens, I am a very lucky man indeed. There is still the rush for going after money in me but at the same time, my skill as a writer has improved a lot. At least, I have become much faster. I can write many more words in a day compared to a year or two. I also touch that I have become sharper. This is natural. When you are doing something day after day then you become faster, sharper and better in doing it.

Thus, I can make a balance at last. I can think of going after quality writing while at the same earning money. I am not talking about infomercial type of writing. I am talking about touching with heart of the people with whatever I write. I am talking about writing for helping others even if it is about technology or banking. I am talking about writing with a lot of care so that the entries I write can bring some kind of benefit or interest among readers. They just do not arrive to my blogs randomly from search engine results. Instead, when they arrive, they find something useful and some food for thought.

Thus, two ideas have come to my mind. My writing should bring some kind of benefit for the readers. For example, suppose a reader is searching information about something, say, for example about ten very good English novels to read. He or she finds the information in this blog: Ten Novels of English Literature that I enjoy a Lot

This list can save them some time and if they get happy from reading the novels that I suggested then surely there is some benefit and entertainment both.

When I was a teacher, my main focus was how to make my lectures interesting to the students. I wish that I could get the same skill as a writer or blogger. As a writer, I find that my tone is a bit serious and it really lacks humor. May be the main reason is that English is not my mother tongue and I do not have good skill in this language.

The second idea is that even if my entries do not bring any benefit but they make the reader interested about the topic and the reader thinks about it.

So, from now, I will try to remember these two things when I write. It is now 5 AM and again I am suffering from insomnia. Well, I am not that much concerned about it now because I have found my mental peace at last. This is the most important thing.

Do you read what you Write?

2010-09-14T05:37:00.002+06:00

Today, I was thinking about this question? I read my favorite short stories and novels a lot and often. I watch my favorite movies and TV serials often. I listen to the songs that I like often. Do I read my writings often? Have I written anything significant that I am tempted to write over and again?

I have to admit that I do not read my own writings that much. Well, there are some exceptions. I wrote a novel 13 years ago and I have been reading it for the last 13 years. Except it, I have not read anything written by me many times.

One interesting thing is that when I go to sleep every night, I think of a short story or a novel. I imagine the story, the characters, the settings, the places and the events. I just don’t write them as I really have no scope to sell short stories or novels at this moment. Instead, I do blogging as it pays my bills.

My dream is that when I will be free of stress about money then I will start writing these short stories and novels that I have in my mind for so many years. In other words, I am just waiting to save some money and be financially well off.

So, to answer my original question: no, I do not read my own writings much but I imagine a lot about the stores and novels that I would love to write. Internet has brought hope for me.

Fate and Destiny: Do you Believe?

2010-09-13T00:58:00.002+06:00

It has been a very tough one week for me. This is the time of the largest festival and everything is closed. I am all alone in my home. I cannot cook and I am suffering from cholesterol. So, it was double loneliness, suffering and pain for me. I made a plan that I would write a research based article on Nepal during the holidays. I could not do it.

It was supposed to be an article of 3000-4000 word long. I did make the outline and I know what should be written. However, I could not even start it because of the miserable condition I have been passing for the last 5-6 days. It created double frustration in me. My tragedy now is that I know what I should do and how I should do but I cannot do it because of bad health.

Today, in YouTube, I watched the movie Love Story. Eric Segal was really one of the best writers of the last 50 years. I like his another book more- Prizes.

In the last few days, I have been watching movies and TV serials that I used to like in the past. Since I started blogging, I forgot about my favorite novels, songs and movies.

Sometimes, I wish that my life was much less complicated but then this is me and my life. I have hardly any belief about fate but may be it is my destiny to first suffer a lot and then enjoy. I feel that I am very near to finish the sufferings and pains.

If you are reading this entry then why not share your pains below in the comment section.

Happiness and Sorrow: Life has Both

2010-09-12T01:51:00.002+06:00

When I look around then I often feel that I am much happier than most people around me. It was a very shaking experience for me last night as I experienced the strongest earthquake in my life. Well, it was I think a 4.6 magnitude earthquake but since, it originated just 75 kilometers from my home, I really became scared. Although I am not a very religious man, I remembered God at that time.

After the earthquake, I realized that in life, we often destroy our peace on small and trivial things. Obviously, I have this disease and I know that most people I have seen in my life have the problem. Thus, we do not need an earthquake to destroy our peace. We have already destroyed our mental peace with small matters.

I do not want to criticize anyone here. I am stating my idea and the experience with this earthquake have helped me to change my attitude. From now, I will try not to bother about little things in life. Of course, it is impossible to change this habit but I will try my best about it.

I am not in any way suggesting that you should not be sad when a sad thing happens. Of course, we cannot control ourselves. What I am suggesting is that try to make a list of the small things that make you sad too much and try to come out of them.

Until the age of 20, I was a big fan of sports and especially football (soccer). When my favorite team failed, it gave a lot of pain to me. I know that there is no shortage of people who have this kind of feeling about sports. Well, at the age of 20, I realized that it was useless to stop eating or talking for a game. After all, it is just a game and it will come back every season every year.

Thanks everyone for reading and following this blog. Today, I noticed that this blog has 33 followers now. This gave me a lot of happiness and from now, I will try to be regular in updating it.

A Walk To Remember, Love and Couple Life

2010-09-11T02:32:00.000+06:00

No, I am not going to write any review of the movie A Walk To Remember. If you have not seen it then I strongly recommend that you do it as soon as possible. Good thing is that someone has uploaded all the parts in YouTube and tonight, I watched all the 10 parts. It was a small budget movie made with $11.8 million of budget and it earned more than $47 million in the box office. Thus, in any way, it was not a blockbuster movie.

Still, A Walk to Remember touched my heart very deeply. One of the songs of the movie called Only Hope has been viewed more than 18 million times in YouTube. I am adding the song here:

Anyway, the movie touched me a lot because it has a touching story. I was thinking that in literature and in movies, we see the most romantic and touching depictions of love and marriage. Still, most writers, artists and actors have perhaps disastrous marriages. They get married easily and they get divorced easily too. It is indeed a mystery to me that while they inspire us so much and touch our heart with so touching stories then why they cannot follow their own words in their life.

Of course, there are some exceptions and my favorite couple is Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I am speechless when I read about their life.

If you have time, please read this sonnet of Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

I am sure that most of you have read this poem but still read it again if you have time.

I really hope and more and more writers have more success in marriage and couple life. After all, they are the people who remind us all the time that without love, without happiness in marriage, there is little value to life.

In the end, if possible read this short story: Living in Love

I wish all of you to have a happy life.

The Curse is Over and I am back to My Life Again

2010-09-10T05:41:00.000+06:00

It had been terrible 17-18 months for me. Just one after another disaster and nothing else happened. I suffered every way- physically, emotionally and financially. Now, things are becoming back to normal level in every way. I have started to blog again and my health is now much better. Yes, I am still suffering from low income but I know that if I can work regularly then it wont be a problem as I am indeed a very hard working person.

To be honest with you, I am not unhappy for the last 1 and half years. I have learnt a lot from my sufferings and the most important thing that I have learnt is that in life, we often become very sad from small matters. Life is too much precious to waste energy for small things.

As I was born in a lower middle class or a poor family, I had to suffer a lot of insults for most parts of my life. I guess that it is a common phenomenon everywhere that many rich people do not like the idea that a boy or a girl from a poor background outshines them. In a third world country, it can become even more tragic.

Before I became ill, these insults and bad memories used to offend me a lot and I wasted a lot of energy from sadness and I was too much preoccupied with thinking of revenge. This is the simple lesson I have learnt and I am happy for this change. Now, I know that the best way to take revenge is to be happy in life and do the things that make me happy.

Suddenly, I can find that I have many hours to work and my mind is now not preoccupied with revenge, anger or any negative feeling. Instead, I am happy with my wife and I am happy with my work. More than anything, I know that this happiness is a rare blessing from God. I am not exactly a religious person but I have touched God’s blessings in desperate situations all through my life.

The last one week has been highly productive for me. I could write some good entries for my laptop blog and I could finish writing a cover story for a magazine. I could even start a research article. I could read nearly 4 books in 7 days. The best thing that has happened to me is that I have found an excellent idea to do some in depth reporting about Cloud Computing in South Asia.

Until last week, I had shortage of ideas and it was difficult for me to decide what to do. Now, the situation has become just the opposite. There are so many ideas in my head that I am getting confused what to leave.

I am now looking for a happy beginning in life. I do not want to give any advice to any of you. All I can say that if you are suffering then try to have some kind of hope that good time will come. I know really believe it.

Giving Opinion in real life and Blogging

2010-09-08T15:34:00.001+06:00

I like to talk a lot. I am perhaps one of them who have a kind of opinion about everything in the world and do not hesitate to voice their opinions everywhere. Today, I was thinking about it. Well, yes, sometimes, I make a fool out of myself by talking about the things I do not know that much. Secondly, I often get into heated argument or quarrel because of this bad quality of mine. Of course, sometimes, I am right too. Still, it is not a very good quality.

Well, today, I was thinking that I have to change but then a very good idea came to my mind. I realized that I can transform this quality from speaking to writing. In other words, I will try to totally become silent and stop giving opinions in real life but I will do it in blogging.

The good part is that I always try to say what I believe and what I really feel. I find it difficult to echo what others say. In fact, this is the thing that leads me to a thousand problem every month. In blogging, it is not a problem because many people indeed can get touched with my idea. Even if they don’t like they can argue with me in written form. In fact, 99.99% of my readers do not know me personally. Thus, there is no possibility of a head to head conflict.

If I can really implement this idea then my productivity in blogging will skyrocket indeed. May be at first it will again lead me to conflict with some bloggers. However, with the passing of days, I will perhaps get more readers who have similar ideas like me. In real life, it is impossible because my message cannot reach to many people. However, in blogging, it is much easier. This simple idea has reignited my passion and interest about blogging. Of course, I must remember that when I want to give my opinion on something I should have some understanding and knowledge about the topic. I should also try to come out of any prejudice.

You can read this entry: Opinion - Good blog, bad blog: does the value of blogging outweigh its risks?

I have found the Right Rhythm in Blogging

2010-09-08T03:43:00.002+06:00

It seems that at last I have found the right tune in blogging. For the last 3-4 days, I have been writing in just one blog Laptopet and there, I have been writing about just one topic- cloud computing. I have searched and read a lot about this topic in the last 4 days and I have watched nearly 30 videos in YouTube about cloud computing. As a result, I felt happy and I could write with some skill.

My knowledge has increased about this topic and at the same time, I have been able to post 8 entries about it in Laptopet blog.

Before that, I felt stressed out and I lost my interest about blogging. Blogging seemed to me very difficult as I was going no where. Then, I came up with the idea to focus only in one blog and on one topic. Someone requested me to write a long article about cloud computing. Thus, it became a freelance project for me. So, I started reading about it and I have another 10 days to write that long article and give him. Thus, I am selling an article as a freelance writer. It has become a triple bonus for me. I am going to sell an article and get some money and fame. I have already written 10 entries about cloud computing in my Laptop blog. Finally, I have gained some indepth knowledge about this field.

Oh! there is a fourth benefit too. Today, I just realized that I can write a research article about cloud computing in my country.

When less is More and when less can bring Satisfaction?

2010-09-02T02:12:00.002+06:00

Yesterday, I decided that I would change my style and try to write less. I took this decision for two reasons. First of all, I am still not perfectly fit. My health is improving but still it is not that good. Writing a lot means a lot of stress both physically and mentally.

The second reason was that I wanted to focus on quality. For example, today, I wrote this entry in South Asia Blog: Wimax Internet in Bangladesh: Facilities, Problems and Potentials. I was satisfied with it. I really miss writing this kind of long entries.

The third factor that perhaps encouraged me to take this decision was that 4 and half years ago, when I started full time and professional blogging, I was alone. Now, I have a team of 4 bloggers under me and with me, the team consists of 5 members. So, it is time that I relax a bit more and still enjoy good traffic for my blog. Thus, this entry brought a lot of satisfaction. It was just one entry and would not bring extra revenue but the satisfaction was more important. At last, I feel better emotionally and my body did not suffer either.

Well, almost all the credit goes to my wife as she has been insisting for it for quite long time. Now, I dream of a day that I will just write one entry each day.

At last I feel Happy about Blogging

2010-08-30T22:42:00.002+06:00

Since I started blogging, I had always the dilemma of earning money vs personal satisfaction. I had to do many things. The most important thing I had to do was to learn about blogging. So, I had to study a lot about Blogging, Search Engine Optimization, Earning Money through blogging etc. I also made a huge mistake of trying to spread myself too thing and I worked in many blogs.

As a result, life became full of stress and I was working sometimes 16 hours day after day and month after month. I do not regret all the mistakes in the last four years because I have learnt a lot from the mistakes. Secondly, because I dedicated myself completely about reading on blogging, now blogging is not difficult for me. If my health was some better then blogging was indeed no problem.

I am now becoming better and I am grateful to God for that. Today, I have taken a huge decision of just trying all out for one blog: Laptopet. Thus, I feel almost no stress and exhausting about blogging. This is for the first time in four and half years, I feel very happy about blogging. In the past, I was happy too but there was a sense of tiredness, exhaustion and stress working on me as I was in a field that I did not have much knowledge and skill.

Also, from today, I am going to start doing some research. So, it has brought a lot of satisfaction in my mind.

What to Do with Four Hours?

2010-08-26T22:03:00.000+06:00

At last, my health is becoming fresh enough to work. The feeling is excellent after a long time. There are four hours before going to bed to sleep. So, what to do?

Of course, the first thing to do is to finish this entry in this blog. Then, I think some, make a plan and search some and again think and write.

When you are a journalist then one advantage is that you know your assignments. In other words, you know what you have to write. However, when you are a blogger and you only write in your own blogs then this becomes a problem. I have noticed that a lot of time gets wasted everyday just to think that what should be written.

Thus, a good portion of the next 4 hours will be perhaps wasted thinking about what to write.

In the last one week, I received two nice comments in my inbox through Feedburner. I like to thank both of these two readers. Comments like these surely help me to get more energy and motivation to write.

The long summer heat is almost finishing. Now, in our home, we have less power cuts (load shedding) and this is good for working.

Finding the Humanistic Touch in Writing about Business and Technology

2010-08-25T02:32:00.002+06:00

In my earlier entry, I wrote that I am going to focus only in two blogs from tomorrow, South Asia Blog and Lapopet. The first blog is about business and economy while the second one is purely related to technology. My educational background is pure Arts. I studied English Literature and then English Language Teaching (ELT) in my BA and MA respectively.

You may wonder whether I have any knowledge or skill to blog in these two blogs. Well, I liked Economics a lot and I used to read about economics when I found time in my school and college days. I have been writing about International business since 1997 (13 years). I also have been writing about computer and Internet since 1999 (11) years. So, I think that I have some skill for writing about business and technology or else I would not survive so long.

I especially enjoy writing in South Asia Blog. When I write a business entry then I try to add some humanistic touch. If you have some time then read this entry: Impact of Global Economic Recession on Nepalese Economy

I feel that the humanistic touch make my entries easier to read and more enjoyable.

I need to find the same touch while writing about technology. Until now, I never tried to write about technology seriously. Now is the time as we are going to make Laptopet our main blog.

I dream of a day when I can full time write about humanities topics like history or literature or linguistics. Now, I am hopeful that it will come soon.

Decreasing Quantity while Focusing on Quality

2010-08-25T01:12:00.002+06:00

Quality and Quantity most of the time have opposite relationship. If quantity increases then quality decreases. This is even truer in writing. To write in a good way, you have to give a lot of time and efforts. Of course, the more you try, you become better and faster. For example, I am almost continuously blogging for more than 4 years and 6 months. Naturally, I am now much faster when I write an entry compare to 4 years ago. That is perhaps why, this feeling has come inside me that I should focus on quality from now instead of quantity.

Well, at first, I had to focus on quantity as I hardly knew anything blogging, about earning money or getting traffic. Now, I am at the peak of skill in Blogging and that is why, I feel that it is time to focus on quality.

What is quality in blogging? To me, the definition of quality is simple. I should get maximum satisfaction after writing an entry. I have noticed in the past that when I wrote a quality entry, it brought good response. I got links from some influential blogs and social bookmarks. Of course, after writing a good entry, some promotional activities are needed or else others wont find my writings. So, I know that I can write quality content that gets linked by others.

The sickness, hard work, mental stress, getting the money after earning it, suffering disaster because of shared hosting- all of these took away my confidence and mental energy. I lost the motivation and ability to write the nice entries consistently. My health is coming back and this is helping me a lot.

I am an Aries and maturity became much later in my life. I guess that at last at the age of 37, I feel matured. I still feel very young in my mind but now, I have started to feel matured.

Perhaps the main problem now is to focus on a fixed topic for a long time. I can sit in front of the PC for many hours but I cannot focus on a topic continuously even for 10 minutes. I get distracted too much with many things. Now, the main challenge is to focus on something for nearly one hour. If I can totally focus on writing for one hour then in two hours, I can produce something not perhaps magical but I am satisfied with the quality.

Thus, this is now my main challenge. I love writing a lot and I am happy to be a writer. I cannot think of any other profession that would bring even 10% of happiness like writing. I lost track but here, I am back again to my very best.

It is time to enjoy writing again, take writing as a challenge and enjoy the challenge. Yes, this time, I am matured and happy. Writing is the thing that I can do best and I want to try my best this time.

One of the things that really makes me happy is that I can find happiness and satisfaction in any kind of writing. I am going to focus only in two blogs from now, South Asia Blog and Laptopet. South Asia Blog is a blog about South Asian Business and Economy and Laptopet is about laptop and gadgets. Still, I enjoy writing in these blogs. Especially, South Asia Blog is my most favorite blog. Unfortunately, writing about South Asia does not bring good money or else, I would just focus on South Asia Blog.

My life has been full of struggling against poverty and suffering from frustration. Unfortunately, my parents were never wise about money and wealth and as a result, as the only son and eldest child of the family, I had to earn money from a very early age. I am happy that this is past. Fortunately, God compensated with all my sufferings with a good marriage with an exceptionally good woman.

I am happy that I experienced the kind of love that I always dreamt and read in novels and watched in movies. It is indeed a fairy tale story for me.

Now, I am optimistic because I feel more peace and calm. After years of suffering, at last, I feel I can take some rest. It has been almost 18 years of long journey of hard work for day and night, for weeks and months and years. I have made many mistakes because of immaturity. I had to tolerate many cruelties in life.

Still, I had a dream to be a writer and now I feel that I am very close to fulfilling my dream. In the last one year, I was sick most of the time and I had to depend on my 3 assistants for the blogs. They are very dedicated and I really have no complain against them. They are still working with me. However, I am the type of person who loves to work and when I could not write myself but had to guide them then I felt helpless, frustrated and useless. I like to be in charge and I like to do things myself. Thus, it was a bad torture for me.

Nevertheless, I am deeply grateful to God for this break. The last one year has not only made me matured but also has changed me profoundly. God has helped me immensely to keep the blogs more or less intact and I can again come back to writing. So, with this entry, I am making a comeback and it is like a second beginning for me.

Race against Time for a Blog

2010-08-24T05:24:00.002+06:00

On this Friday (20 August), I moved our Laptop blog from Blogspot to its own domain. Well, when you do that to a blog then for the first weeks, the blog does not get good blessing from Google. So, we have to try for it a lot.

I am some concerned about this matter because in November, it is the time of Black Friday 2010. Black Friday is the time that we get most traffic for this blog. In November 2009, this blog got 110,000 page views and I think that on November 2008, it received more than 200,000 page views. So, we have just September and October or nearly 70 days.

I am hopeful that 70 days would be enough but I also know that we have to race against time so that by November 1, the blogs gets strong and gets good blessing in Google search results. Well, I am hopeful because we always give original content and we try to put quality content.

Best Blogs on Freelance Writing: A list

2010-08-23T13:33:00.002+06:00

If you are looking for good blogs on Freelance writing then I would like to direct you to two entries I found in other websites. Here they are:

Top 50 Freelance Writing Blogs

20 Must-Read Blogs For Freelance Writers

Some of these blogs are really useful and I visit them quite frequently. If I find time then I will try to a make a list of the good websites that are useful for freelance writers. I visit Absolute Forum almost once a day.

Ten Tips on how to Survive as a Freelance Writer

2010-08-21T01:05:00.000+06:00

There are really millions of people who want to be a writer. I am just one of them and I am happy to say that my full time work is writing. It is actually not freelance writing but Blogging. Many freelance writers would perhaps frown at people like me and they would say that Bloggers are not real writers. Anyway, this entry is not about me or Bloggers but here, I am going to discuss about some tips on how to survive as a freelance writer. I have been earning my livelihood as a freelance writer for quite sometimes. I have also suffered some of the worst experiences. So, I think that I am a write person to give advice on this topic.

1. Think again if you want to be a writer: yes, this is my first advice to anyone who wants to be a writer. As I have already said that millions of people want to become full time writers but only very few of them become successful. Most others either quit or suffer too much for their whole life and still do not get any success. That is why, it is better that you think again seriously whether you want to be a writer and suffer the instability and insecurity of a freelance writer. If you are not ready for the instability and security then you should not be in this field.

2. Get inspiration from the lives of other writers: Whenever I feel disappointed and frustrated, I try to think about two writers. The first one is Charles Dickens and the second one is Alex Haley. Both of them realized what poverty was. Charles Dickens in fact hardly got any chance to get school education but he taught himself and he had to literally earn money just to stay live for some of the early years of his life. That is why, I get a lot of encouragement and inspiration from the life of Charles Dickens. You do not have to get inspiration from Dickens alone. There are many other poets and writers who suffered a lot just like you.

3. Keep your dream intact: Most people are afraid to dream and even believe in their dream. I would strongly suggest that you never loss your dream. It does not matter whether you become successful or not but you must have your dream intact. For example, these days, I have to work on Blogging and earn money. I enjoy Blogging because it is a kind of writing and many people are reading my entries. However, I really wish that I could write some stories, novels and I could dedicate all my time for writing and reading about history. However, writing about history will not bring money for me and that is why I am becoming a more serious Blogger. Still, I have my dream within me. As soon as I can get good success in Blogging and can earn decent amount of money, I will try to allocate at least 20 per cent or 25 per cent of my daily time for writing and reading about history.

4. Don’t leave your day job right away: This is one of the most important tips I want to talk about. Many people get too much excited and carried away and they just jump into freelance writing. Many people even give up their day time job that brings regular money and pay all their bills. You should not do it until you can earn some regular money by selling your writing. I am grateful to god that the time of Blogging came and I could get some regular income through it.

5. Cut back on your hobbies and luxuries: When you want to become a full time freelance writer then forget about your all luxuries. May be you are fond of a very expensive restaurant and you want to go there once a week. When you become a freelance writer then just forget it. Or else you cannot control your expenses and you will suffer sooner rather than later. As for hobbies, try to think of the hobbies that does not need money at all. For example, I try to read all the news in internet and do not buy any newspaper. I also try to read as much free e-books available on internet as possible instead of buying books. I am among the persons who is crazy for newspapers and magazines.

6. Beggars should not be choosers: This is another important lesson. In your early years of freelance writing career, do not try to be an idealist or perfectionist. Sometimes you will get projects that you do not like at all. For example, I used to get a lot of projects for translation works related to computer field. My background is from Humanities and at first, it was not only distasteful for me but very difficult too. However, I realized that translating in the computer field was bringing much more money than any other kind of writing. This skill helped me a lot when I became a Blogger. So, be prepared to write the things you don’t like at all. Or in other words, sometimes, be prepared to sell your soul sometimes.

7. Work long hours: Remember that writing is not a 9 to 5 job. When you get a project and you need to do a research and work on it then be prepare to work for long hours. When I started professional Blogging nearly four and half years ago, for many months, I used to work 12 to 14 hours a day. I did not take any off because I needed to know about professional Blogging. Because of this, I survived quite well in Blogging and had decent amount on income.

8. Take loan and charity: This happened to me really. Nearly eight years ago, I left my university teaching job and decided to become a full time freelance writer. At first, it was impossible for me to earn any money and I suffered a lot from money stress. It became a real nightmare every month to pay the house rent. I had to take loan or even sometimes begged from my friends anyone I knew. Just be prepare to leave aside your dignity on some occasions and if needed take charity.

9. Success will come: I know that often writers get the feeling that they will struggle forever. I am not saying that if you work hard you will become rich or a millionaire. However, I can assure you that if you are ready to work hard regularly then at least you will be able to have a decent middle class life from the income of your writing.

10. Think again really: At first, I said you that think about the matter whether you really want to be a writer and if you are ready to suffer all the hardship, frustration and insecurities of the life of a freelance writer. At the end, I am again telling you the same thing because it is not a child play. Life is not rosy at all when you decide to become a freelance writer. You are bound to suffer for several years unless a miracle happens.

In the end, just kind of off topic and self promotion. Today, we could move our laptop blog to a domain: http://www.laptopet.com/

If you can then pay a visit.

Freelance Writing: Dream and Reality

2010-08-19T14:02:00.002+06:00

Most probably, I have written about it in an earlier entry. Still, this is something that is in mind a lot in the recent weeks. It is a personal issue but also I think that most writers have to deal with it just like me. For many years, my dream was to be a writer like Charles Dickens, George Orwell or O. Henry. They are great writers and they could influence and entertain lot of people. Still, people love to read their writings. Of course, Orwell did not achieve that much popularity but both Dickens and O. Henry are still very popular not only among speakers of English language but also in the whole world.

This was my dream but I could not fulfill my dream and I am not hopeful that I can ever do it. It does not make me sad because reality is that very few writers can become successful. What makes me sad is the fact that I do not have any time to write about the things I love. I love to write about history, international politics, business but I cannot find the time. Well, more than time, they do not bring any money.

The main problem is that I am trying to set up a company and the birth pain is too much. Running a small home based company with 4 workers may not sound to be a big deal but it is more than I can handle. I have to take care of everything as I am the owner.

This matter consumes a lot of time for me. However, on the other hand, because of this company, I am free of any stress related to money.

Anyway, what I have realized is that having a dream is very important in life. Compared to 5 years ago, my condition is better now and if I have the dream then may be after one year, I can write the things I dreamt. I do not dislike blogging but I think that writing about history, international politics or current affairs, business would make me happier than writing about sports and technology or entertainment.

Secondly, I wish that everyday, I would write just entry instead of writing several entries. Well, if I have enough money then I surely can do it. Or, I try to write the short entries very quickly and then devote the whole day for writing a good and long entry.

Writing should be fun. However, the stress of work and real life has taken away all the fun and I became both physically and mentally tired. I hope that gradually I can again come back to writing for fun.